by Caroline Leach | Jan 8, 2016 | Change, Work/Life
How’s your life going a week into the new year?
Are you firing on all cylinders? Energized by your dreams of creating change in your life? Or does it feel like ages ago that you embraced a bright, shiny new year, with all its possibilities?
Perhaps we’re expecting too much from a single day. Perhaps we’re trying to do too much. Or perhaps we didn’t plan for life’s unexpected twists and turns.
But perhaps New Year’s Day is as much as state of mind as it is a date on the calendar. How could you bring a New Year’s sensibility to all of your days? Here are a few ideas.
Set yourself up for success the night before. Wrap up your tasks for the day. Note your priority actions for tomorrow. Straighten up your surroundings. Pack a delicious lunch. Set out the stuff you’ll need for tomorrow. Get a good night’s sleep.
Have a plan. Don’t put everything on your list for the day. When I do that, my eyes glaze over and I don’t know where to begin. Start with 3 to 5 priority tasks. Pick one to tackle first thing. Your most difficult one. Preferably in a 60- to 90-minute uninterrupted block of time.
Expect the unexpected. When you over schedule, there’s no slack in the day to roll with the punches. This week, for example, we (finally) had rain in Southern California. That meant traffic was heavier and more time was needed to get to the office. Plan some unplanned time to make up the difference.
Enjoy the adventure. Take in the sights and sounds of your surroundings. Look up from your smartphone. Look people in the eye, smile and say hello. Be present and make note of what’s happening from moment to moment.
Stop the doom loop. If you hear yourself spiraling into a sea of negativity, tell yourself to stop. Replace those thoughts with more positive, optimistic ones. If you feel embarrassed about a mistake you’ve made, remember that most people are thinking about themselves and won’t even notice.
Cut yourself some slack. Focus on the good in your day. Remind yourself of what you did accomplish (hopefully your top 3 – 5 priorities), rather than what you didn’t. Speaking of “priorities,” did you know when the word first entered the English language in the 14th century, it was singular? That’s right. You could only have one priority. Not multiple ones, as we have today.
Be kind to yourself — and others. Often we can get so wrapped up in our own challenges, that we fail to notice others are struggling with the same things. Or even more difficult problems than our own. It’s safe to assume that everyone we come in contact with is carrying a heavy load. Be nice to them. Smile. Offer a kind word. That goes for you, too.
Act the way you want to feel. This is my favorite of the “Secrets of Adulthood” from Gretchen Rubin and The Happiness Project. If you want to feel happy, start acting that way. If you want to feel grateful, think about your blessings. If you want to feel more positive and optimistic, start acting that way. It takes a deliberate choice and less than a minute of your time. That’s a pretty good return.
Remember that today is your new year’s day. And tomorrow. And the day after that. Make it count. Make a difference. Make it fun. Because all of our new year’s days add up to our lives. What kind of a life are you living? You don’t have to meet every last goal for yourself before you start enjoying it. Decide to make each moment special, for yourself and everyone around you.
by Caroline Leach | Dec 30, 2015 | Change, Learning, Work/Life
Do habits make us who we are?
Habits inform how we live our lives each day. And over time that adds up to who we are.
Habits underpin the goals we set, often at the start of a new year or season.
Whether it’s exercising more, working better or spending time with loved ones, goals are achieved bit by bit, in the smaller tasks we repeat on a regular basis.
And don’t underestimate how small changes add up. Small Move, Big Change by Caroline Arnold shows the power of “micro resolutions.”
As part of my own year-end rituals, I’m starting a new tradition. It’s called a Daily Dozen, for 12 key habits I’m committed to doing each day.
Some of them are well established, like walking 10,000 steps each day. Others are newer, like power posing for 2 minutes every morning.
The daily dozen concept came from Walter Chauncey Camp. Known as “the father of American football,” Camp devised a set of 12 exercises called the daily dozen while he worked for the U.S. military.
Here’s my daily dozen – 12 exercises for body, mind and spirit:
3 morning pages. Thank you, Julia Cameron, for the brilliant idea of writing 3 long-hand pages every morning, about anything, in a stream of consciousness.
The practice of morning pages clears your minds, helps you solve problems and sets the stage for a highly creative day. Completion time: 20 minutes.
1 power pose. Thank you, Amy Cuddy, for the research-based practice of standing in a power pose for 2 minutes. Your body language really does shape who you are and how you think about yourelf.
But why wait for a stressful situation to try power posing? Pre-emptively, I’m doing a power pose every morning. Arms stretched out, excited about what I’ll do each day and what each one will bring. Completion time: 2 minutes.
2 sets of arm weights. While I understand why weight training should be done every other day to rest tested muscles, it’s hard to remember to do something every other day. It’s easier to do something daily, because it doesn’t require a lot of thought.
So I’ll split up my arm weight regimen. One day I’ll do 2 sets of weights, followed by a different 2 sets the next day. That way it’s daily, but different each day. Completion time: 5 minutes.
2 vitamins. This one’s easy. I’ve been taking vitamins for years. It takes seconds, it’s good for me and it gives me a small sense of accomplishment. This fuels the ability to meet other goals.
Have you ever added a task to your list after you completed it, just for the satisfaction of crossing it off as done? This goal is a similar concept. Completion time: 1 minute.
1 reasonable to-do list. Too often my master list of everything that needs to be done serves as my daily to-do list. Instead, I’ll make a daily list, the night before, of my top 5 priorities for the following day.
Taking inspiration from Tony Schwartz, 1 of the 5 will be a top-of-the-day key project to devote my first focused 90 minutes. Completion time (for the list): 10 minutes.
5 fruits and veggies. This comes from Michael Pollan’s mantra to “eat food, not too much, mostly plants.” In my case that’s berries with breakfast, salads for lunch and fruits and veggies for snacks.
This is how I lost weight a few years ago. It is painfully true that the really hard part is not losing weight, but maintaining the new weight. Completion time: negligible.
30 active minutes. Successful weight maintenance is easier with daily exercise. That’s been a habit of mine for quite some time. And I’ve upped the ante with my green-day challenge to reach 10,000 steps every day.
It’s also fun to mix it up and try new forms of exercise. This year I’m looking forward to more stand up paddle boarding and yoga. Completion time: 30 minutes.
3 family member time. Life is full with a spouse and 2 teens in high school plus 1 rescue dog. Sometimes it feels like group texts are our most often used means of communication and connection.
So I sit in the dining room in the evenings, to connect with everyone during homework and dinner time. Besides chatting for a few minutes about everyone’s day, I can do my “homework” from the office while they do theirs. Completion time: variable.
1 blog post. Initially I considered posting daily. But this would not be sustainable with my family and work commitments. What I can do is devote 30 minutes daily to blog-related activities: ideating, reading, researching, writing, posting or publicizing. Completion time: 30 minutes.
30 minutes of reading. Reading helps you relax, focus and learn – whether it’s my daily news ritual or reading to write a blog post. A great idea in Stretch co-authored by Karie Willyerd is to read from 3 different continents, to develop a global perspective. Does The Economist count for multiple continents?
When pressed for time, I can read on my iPad while on the treadmill (see “30 active minutes” above). And reading time counts as blog time (see above) if I’m researching a post. Completion time: 30 minutes.
3 things to be grateful for. Inspired by happiness and habits guru Gretchen Rubin, I end each day by writing down 3 things I’m grateful for. The list goes at the end of my morning pages (see above), hopefully creating a continuous loop of positive thoughts and actions. Completion time: 10 minutes.
7 hours of sleep. This may contribute the most to my well being. Life often feels like a trade-off between being close to caught up on the to-do list and caught up on sleep. But I can accomplish so much more when I’m well rested.
Sleep Cycle to the rescue, here. This app wakes you up at your lightest sleep point during a 30-minute interval that you specify. And it doesn’t subtract restless time, like another tracker I tried, which makes me happier. Completion time: 7 hours.
What’s your daily dozen?
____________
This is my 50th post since launching this blog on New Year’s Day 2015.
While I didn’t hit my goal of 2 posts a week, I’m proud of maintaining this blog during a busy and transformative year.
With 2016’s theme of leaping, I’ll post and publicize twice a week for a total of 100. Game on!
by Caroline Leach | Dec 20, 2015 | Change, Learning, Work/Life
One of my favorite year-end rituals is to take stock of the last 12 months.
How did I do on my goals? What am I proud of? What am I grateful for?
It’s something I write free form and by hand, as a numbered list. It’s roughly chronological, but several items inevitably creep in out of order. That’s okay. It could be a metaphor for how life plays out.
My camera roll, calendar and to-do lists all provide digital breadcrumbs to capture the highlights of the last year.
When I started to reflect on this year’s goals, I didn’t feel I’d achieved as much as I set out to do. The year started with a few big question marks.
What was going to happen when the company I work for was acquired by another company? Where was my son going to go to high school? Where was my daughter going to apply to college?
For the last 5 years, I’ve chosen a theme for each year. It’s a personal rallying cry, and all of my goals for the year fit in with it in some way. This will be the subject of another year-end blog post.
Then comes my life vision statement, as a reminder of why I’m on the planet and how my theme keeps me focused on that reason for being.
And then there are goals in the categories of health, family, career, finances, spirituality and social/community.
Health. Everything starts with good health – for me and my family. I did pretty well with near-daily exercise. And it was fun trying new activities, like standup paddle boarding, yoga and cardio barre.
My green day challenge with Fitbit is ramping it up to a daily action. And the new exercise shoes I break out every Jan. 1 are in my closet, ready to go for my 2016 workouts.
This reflection makes me thankful for good health. It always makes me think about what I could do better next year. My biggest opportunity is sleep. That is, getting more of it. My goal was at least 7 hours a night.
It was frustrating to see minutes subtracted for restlessness on my Fitbit, so I stopped tracking sleep. I wanted credit for every last minute in bed.
It’s time to try Sleep Cycle over the holiday break. I’m eager to see what it feels like to be awakened during the lightest phase of sleep, within a 30 minute period of my choosing.
Family. This has been a year of transitions. Our son finished 8th grade and needed to choose where to attend high school. He decided to continue at his same K-12 school and increase his academic commitment. Happily, heading into winter break he’s on a better path, scholastically speaking.
Our daughter started her senior year in high school. She made her list of colleges, finished most of the apps over Thanksgiving weekend and is wrapping up the few due in January. Much to our surprise, she already received a letter of admission. But for the most part, it’s a waiting game until March.
It’s like anything in life. You do your best. You focus on what you can control. And then you do your best not to worry about what you can’t control.
It’s time for her to finish her first semester strong, enjoy experiences with her friends and keep up with her job and other activities.
Also in the family arena was doing fun activities with my spouse. We worked through the NY Times-inspired 36 Hours book with weekends ranging from Malibu to Hollywood to Dallas.
We visited colleges in Seattle over spring break, went to our nephew’s graduation from college in San Francisco and returned to our alma mater for a UCLA football game at the Rose Bowl.
On New Year’s Day 2015 while I watched the Rose Parade, I decided I wanted to go the following year. That’s where we’ll be on Jan. 1, 2016.
For this, thanks go to author Laura Vanderkam and her advice to create a list of 100 dreams – or activities within a few hours of your home that you can do on weekends to make them more special.
Career. On New Year’s Day of this year, I launched this blog. My purpose was to explore the field, the function and the future of corporate communications, against the backdrop of our rapidly changing world.
Part of that change was a pending acquisition of the company I worked for. The deal closed in July. The goal I set at the beginning of the year was to contribute to the success of the merger of the two companies. Beyond that, I wasn’t sure exactly how the rest of the year would take shape.
But I’ve been surprised and delighted to find myself in a new role this fall, doing new things and working with new people. What a tribute to the company I’ve joined and the focus on developing people.
Finances. While I did save the max for retirement, I now need to focus on diversifying my investments for better performance. I’m looking forward to a financial planning day over the holiday break.
Refinance our house before interest rates rise? Check. And my goal to buy a new car? Well, let’s just say that some goals come to fruition, but not in the way that was initially intended. We got my daughter a car this summer, so she can drive to school and work. It makes all of our lives better.
Spirituality, social and community. A few highlights here are that I enjoyed my involvement with a mother-daughter charitable organization, a city committee on traffic safety and leadership of the women’s employee resource group at my company.
There were a few other community and civic involvement activities I pursued but that didn’t come to fruition. They became learning experiences in what I’d do differently next time.
Looking ahead. This year-end wrap up had many benefits. It made me smile to remember good times with family, friends and colleagues. It made me proud of several accomplishments. It reminded me that I can bounce back from adversity. And it highlighted how much there is to be grateful for.
by Caroline Leach | Sep 20, 2015 | Change, Leadership, Learning, Work/Life
When the world seems full of rejection, look for bright spots. And make the most of the them.
I choose to see rejections simply as milestones along my journey. They aren’t major rejections. A community involvement role here. A professional association board membership there. And some others along the way.
One bright spot is I got the volunteer job I wanted this year in National Charity League. I’m the inspiration chair for the Palos Verdes chapter. I give a short talk each month to inspire my fellow members.
We’re parents serving communities along with our daughters in middle and high school. We’re part of a national organization fostering mother-daughter relationships in a philanthropic organization committed to community service and giving 1 million hands-on volunteer hours annually.
And we’re busy – juggling children, careers and community.
So my inspiration this month began with a collective exhale. We were gathered on a scenic September evening at the seaside cliffs of the Point Vicente Interpretive Center.
And here’s what I said.
By a show of hands, how many of you –
- Have more texts, emails, pings and dings than you can answer?
- Have more calendar commitments than you can ever do?
- Feel like everyone but you leads a charmed life on Facebook and Instagram?
Well, welcome to a new school year!
One mom with two school-aged kids is also the junior senator from New York. Her name is Kirsten Gillibrand. In her book, Off the Sidelines, she says if you ask a mother how it’s going, the universal answer is “Um, barely holding it together.”
So you’re in good company with parents everywhere.
But my job is not to depress you. It’s to inspire you.
Since we often meet at the Palos Verdes Library, my theme this year is good books. And it’s a complement to the theme of this year’s president, Francine Mathieson – Be the Good.
And while you don’t need yet another thing to do, how many of you would like to:
- Increase your concentration and improve your memory?
- Connect better with people on an emotional level?
- Feel happier, calmer and less stressed?
Then reading, as little as six minutes a day, can help you do that.
A study on stress was done at the University of Sussex – yes, it’s in England, so it may or may not be on your daughter’s college list.
It showed reading was better at lowering stress than a number of other activities, such as listening to music, taking a walk, drinking tea or playing a video game.
Reading focuses your mind and crowds out worries – with no hangover, extra calories or other bad side effects. What could be better?
Thanks to Debra Young-Stearns and her team, you have a reminder bookmark on your chair about keeping calm and reading a good book.
The next time we meet at the library, visit the new releases section. It’s like being in a bookstore and walking out with every new book you want – for free!
(And post-inspiration talk, I took my own advice and found Frank Bruni‘s terrific book, Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be, pictured above).
There’s also a great new book out by Brené Brown called Rising Strong. You may have watched her popular TED talks or read her books. Her new book is about resilience and bouncing back from adversity.
I first heard Brené when I was driving to Lake Arrowhead a year ago to meet our very own Beth Graziano and other friends for a family weekend. And I have a feeling Brené and Beth would be the best of friends.
My life was busy, so I drove up by myself after the rest of the group. And I found the TED talk playlists to keep me company – pick a topic and you’ll be entertained by 18-minute talk after talk for several hours.
The last one as I wound my way up the mountain was called The Power of Vulnerability. With more than 21 million views, it has struck a universal chord.
I closed with a few words from Brené’s talk. About our children being wired and ready for struggle and being worthy of love and belonging. And about believing that “we are enough.”
Because, as Brown says, “when we work from a place that says, ‘I am enough,’ we’re kinder and gentler to the people around us, and we’re kinder and gentler to ourselves.”
I am enough. You are enough. Enjoy this beautiful season.
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