You have career dreams. Every day you work hard to make them come true. Yet maybe you’re not where you want to be yet. Maybe you feel stuck where you are. Perhaps you’re not enjoying the journey.
So what’s getting in your way? Where are you getting stuck ? How is that preventing you from making the impact you want?
The surface answer may be the outcome of relentlessly comparing ourselves to others. In everyone’s carefully curated social media feeds, we often forget we’re comparing our real lives, full of messiness and challenge, to everyone else’s near-perfect highlights reel. No wonder we can feel we fall short.
It’s easy to lose sight of the fact that achieving a big dream takes time. Dreams don’t happen overnight or in a month or even a year, as many success stories on social media would have you believe.
Everyone has a dream
A wonderful antidote is the opening words from Barbra Streisand and Jamie Foxx’s version of the song Climb Ev’ry Mountain. Thanks to Leslie Lupinsky, I discovered this inspirational song. Leslie along with Jeff Jacobson led of one of my life-changing coaching courses at the Co-Active Training Institute.
The song begins with dialogue:
Everyone has a dream, don’t you think?
Yes, but the question is how do you make it happen?
Well, first of all, if you can imagine it, then you can achieve it
But it might take a lot of time, and it might take a lot of hard work …
It’s the hard work part that so often gets glossed over. If it doesn’t appear that others have had to work hard for their success, we can start to wonder what’s wrong with us. What is making our path so difficult? Why is it taking so long to achieve our career dreams? How can there be so much rejection along the way?
Finding inspiration in others
Here’s where the long and winding paths of others inspire me.
One is Marie Forleo. She wanted to coach people and help them discover, as the title of her book says, that Everything is Figureoutable. It took her seven years (!) for her coaching business to become sustainable. In between she worked a variety of jobs as she relentlessly pursued her dream. Oprah now calls her “a thought leader of the next generation.”
Above all, they both persisted through many twists and turns in pursuit of their deeply held dreams. A long-held dream was to make other people’s lives better as a result. There are lessons for us in their stories.
As a result, here’s what I take away from their examples, my corporate years as a communications and marketing leader, and my entrepreneur experience (so far!).
Kick fear to the curb
First of all, why do we have fear in our lives? It protects us from extreme risks that could ultimately derail us. Fear comes to us through our inner critic. It’s the voice that whispers in our ears. You’re not good enough. You don’t have what it takes. You can never do it. If we listen long enough, we begin to believe it. Fear becomes a dream killer. What to think and do instead? Thank our fear for alerting us to dangers, take mitigating actions, and set fear aside.
Be a victor, not a victim
Also, when we believe the rantings of our inner critic, we can view life in victim mode. We start to believe we’re not active agents in our own lives. A negative running commentary can set in. I can’t do that. It will be a waste of my time to even try. The deck is stacked against me. A victim mentality can lead to paralysis, and and endless feeling of being stuck. What to think and do instead? Recall times you took control and overcome challenges. You’re a victor, so remind yourself you can do it again.
Take relentless action
Finally, thinking ourselves out of problems doesn’t work. We have to take action. Sometimes a challenge can feel so daunting that it’s hard to know where to start. Begin with the simplest step. Maybe it’s creating your career dream in the first place, in beautiful detail. Perhaps it’s having a development conversation with your supervisor, to start creating a path toward the future you envision and the contribution you want to make. Or it could be taking better care of yourself mentally, physically and spiritually so you have more energy and enthusiasm to pursue your dreams.
What does this all mean?
With all of this action, what are the implications for you how show up on social media? As a start, you can consider sharing your struggles as well as your successes. How are you overcoming obstacles? What are you doing to handle rejection? How are you persevering toward your dream?
Since the beginning of this year I’ve had plenty of personal experience with rejection. Two articles I wrote were rejected for publication by HBR.org, the online part of Harvard Business Review. People who indicated interest in working with me stopped responding to messages. Some of my speaking proposals resulted in rejections. And there’s more, but I won’t bore you.
All that said, there were also successes and new doors that opened. Consequently, those are the ones I choose to focus on.They are the ones I rejoice in and celebrate.
Above all, the rock-solid belief in our own ability and our own agency is what keeps us going. Ultimately it’s what makes the day-to-day journey so much fun. And that’s what life is all about.
“I’m in the process of changing my brand. I love what I do and I’m thinking about creating some new avenues for myself. I would love to get your thoughts. Let me know if you have some time to chat.”
“I appreciate your latest blog post, as it makes me contemplate my own situation. I think I’m making a difference in my work, but I’m under appreciated. I know you were in the corporate world for a long time, and I truly value your opinion.”
“I’m trying to figure out what to do next in my career. I’m focused on survival where I am, while feeling a bit of imposter syndrome. I want to make sure whatever it is I choose to do next is totally worthwhile. What do you think?”
These are a few samples of different notes I got this year from different people in different roles at different companies. Yet for all the differences, there’s a definite theme.
People ask for my advice on making changes in their professional lives. Whether it’s moving up where they are, shifting direction into a new area of interest, or clarifying if they’re really doing what they want to do, the obvious pattern finally hit me.
People want to know how to successfully navigate change, sometimes reinvent themselves into someone new, and make their professional lives more fulfilling.
Finding a Perfect Coach
Early in my corporate career, I wanted a coach. I was intrigued by leaders in business, sports and the arts who had coaches helping them be their best. I wanted one too.
I was looking for someone who could guide me in making difficult decisions. I wanted someone who could help focus my efforts. I was eager to achieve my initial career goal of becoming a VP of Corporate Communications.
But how to find one? It couldn’t be just anyone. It had to be someone who I felt a strong connection with. Someone who I felt really “got me.” Someone who could help me figure out the next steps on my path and nudge me in that direction.
The law of attraction came into play. It often does when you declare an intention, mentally file it away, and then subconsciously take steps toward it.
When I was a communications director in the early 2000s, my supervisor gave me an opportunity to attend a week-long leadership development program at the Center for Creative Leadership.
To say it was life changing is a major understatement. Along with fellow participants, I completed multiple leadership assessments, joined team-based activities to further uncover our leadership styles, and got one-on-one coaching.
My coach turned out to be the person I’d been looking for and more. We had an incredibly intense afternoon session. It uncovered some of my deepest fears and called into question many of the beliefs and assumptions I had let guide my career to that point.
At the time, I was struggling with integrating an ambitious corporate career with being a loving parent of two young children. I looked around the company and my community and didn’t see a lot of role models who were combining both. I felt isolated and alone, not to mention overwhelmed. I was almost ready to leave the corporate world to focus exclusively on parenting.
The only problem is that would have been a disastrous choice for me. My leadership profile is one who likes to be in charge – planning, building and orchestrating large-scale activities. (In the Myers-Briggs personality inventory, I’m an ENTJ, affectionately known as “the commander.”) I needed to figure out a way to make the work/life situation work for me, my family and my career.
And that’s what my coach helped me come to see. I was so happy with her guidance that we worked together for seven years. Sometimes I had a boss who approved a company payment for her services, and sometimes I paid on my own. Because it was just that valuable.
Either way, the impact was incalculable, both for me and the company where I worked. Within two years, I achieved my goal of becoming a VP of Corporate Communications. And I accomplished other important goals as well, although some still proved to be elusive.
Reaching a Painful Inflection Point
Fast forward another seven years and I found myself in another difficult place. “Bored and burned out” was how I described myself to a new coach. A life and leadership coach, Tina Quinn had long been someone I admired in my community. We connected through a friend who was trying to help me move forward with my life.
For a time, though, I resisted meeting with Tina. I just didn’t want to go there. I didn’t want to confront the issues, because that would mean making a change. And change can be painful.
Although the funny thing about change is that in retrospect, I can say that every major change in my life has ultimately been a good one.
We began with my one-year goals and an assessment of my energy leadership, a tool that surfaced how I viewed my work and my life. From there, Tina and I explored ways I could change my view of the world and consciously choose to show up differently.
It’s thanks to this work that I’m where I am today. I’m still striving toward newer and invigorating goals and dreams. And I have a set of tools to better show up in the world and make the journey a more joyful one.
Navigating Waves of Change
In reflecting on change, I’m grateful for some of the changes in my own life. After a few difficult early years in the work world, I chose a new career in corporate communications and took a series of steps to get there.
When another employer was acquired, I had the opportunity to move into marketing analytics. And while I didn’t choose that role, it did give me the view of marketing I wanted.
More recently, I made the leap from the corporate world into the entrepreneurial life. I’m not sure I would have been able to take the steps I did without everything I learned in working with a coach. Talk about a life lesson in feeling the fear and doing it anyhow!
Along the way, I always enjoyed the opportunity to inspire and uplift others. One way I do that is through speaking.
One of my favorite volunteer roles in a philanthropic group called National Charity League was being the inspiration chair. I opened each meeting with encouraging words and stories to uplift fellow parents, professionals, and community leaders.
And my corporate roles gave me opportunities to help others with their development. It was deeply gratifying to put together the first-ever leadership development program, a week-long experience for top executives, at a former employer.
Later, I got to work with HR colleagues to create a marketing leadership development program, to develop future-focused skills among high-potential marketers.
When I was launching my business to write, consult, speak and teach about what successful people do on social media to build their careers, some of my colleagues and friends suggested that I offer coaching as well.
At first I resisted. It didn’t seem core to what I was doing in the social media space. And back to my ENTJ profile, I confess that sometimes I like being the field marshal, organizing and directing a team toward a common goal. Coaching felt a little bit behind-the-scenes to me.
And yet …
The requests kept coming. One of my first social media clients told me how excited he was to be getting social media advice and coaching all in one. Several other people wanted to bounce ideas off of me.
And I found I loved our conversations. It was energizing to help people solve problems in their work lives. I enjoyed asking questions that could help people see new possibilities for themselves and begin taking steps to get there.
Which is a long way of saying that I’m launching a new service with leadership coaching. The focus? Successfully navigating change and transition to achieve big goals.
Introducing a Coaching Practice to Help You Navigate Change
What does a coach do? There are many definitions. An especially good one comes from the International Coach Federation. ICF defines coaching as “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.”
Moving up to the next level of performance and responsibility
Managing life as a high-performing leader and a dedicated parent
Leaping from the corporate world to the entrepreneurial life
If you’re contemplating how you can change, reinvent and transform your career, I’d love to hear from you. We can work together on a short- or long-term basis, depending on what you want to accomplish.
If it involves reinventing your personal brand, we can couple our work with a customized social media plan to launch and build your new brand.
And wherever you choose to navigate your career, I’m wishing you all the best on your journey!
In this workbook you’ll find 50 questions, actions and ideas to help you build your career through your social media presence. The workbook gives you space to jot down your answers and ideas to the prompts that appear in the book.
Social media is increasingly the way people get great new jobs, build vibrant professional networks, establish themselves as thought leaders, and become lifelong learners.
Successful people use social media to effectively boost their careers. They define their personal brand, pick where to play in social media, build a broad and diverse network, consistently share content about their professional interests, and give back to help their colleagues and companies succeed.
To download your free PDF workbook, sign up in the top left-hand column of this website.
What’s the #futureofwork and how will it shape your career in 2019?
That was the subject of a Facebook Live for USC alumni I moderated this week. Fellow alums Dr. Terri Horton, a workforce futurist, and Jennifer Zweig-Dwomoh, an executive recruiter, shared their expertise and insights.
We began with a look at how AI – or artificial intelligence – is being used in the recruiting space. We talked about what candidates should know about ATS, or applicant tracking software.
Using keywords in your application is a must. Take a look at the job description and make sure the keywords in it are reflected (appropriately, of course) in your application materials. The goal is to pass through the ATS screening and start interacting with a person.
Even better is to skip the online application process entirely and tap into your network. Who do you know who works at the companies of interest to you? A warm introduction from them to a hiring manager or recruiter can accelerate your candidacy.
Top jobs and skills for the future
We talked about the top jobs and skills that employers are looking for today and in the future. The World Economic Forum has a few valuable lists in the jobs landscape for 2022, starting with data scientist and AI and machine learning specialists.
As someone who writes, consults and speaks about what successful people do in social media to boost their careers, I’m personally happy to see sales and marketing professionals on the list. But that doesn’t let me off the hook to continue to learn and grow.
Portions of some jobs may be automated via AI, which means many jobs may evolve and be reimagined. And while some job types may go away entirely, new jobs will also appear. It’s wise to keep an eye on the landscape, evaluate the changes, and adjust your career focus and learn new skills on an ongoing basis.
While many of the future-focused jobs are tech-related, there’s also a rise in emphasis on soft skills. Creativity, collaboration, critical thinking, empathy, innovation and resilience, to name a few, are increasingly important. These are the skills that machines can’t currently perform.
How social media can accelerate your career
We looked at how social media can help you with your job search. A consistent focus on building your LinkedIn network with everyone you know – and everyone you want to get to know – is critical.
Then work on your LinkedIn profile. Focus on your headline, your summary, and your work experience. Make sure they’re saturated with the keywords that reflect both your experience and where you want to go next. This makes you more discoverable to recruiters, hiring managers, and others who might have interesting opportunities for you.
Your profile picture is also important. Be sure to upload a clear picture of your face, ideally smiling, closely cropped, and in the attire appropriate for your industry.
Don’t use the default background image in blue with lines and dots. Take advantage of a personalized background photo. A photo of you in action on the job or a picture of your geographical location are a few starter ideas.
Companies are looking for you in a strong economy
We also talked about the state of the economy. With unemployment at a nearly 50-year low, companies want to hire you. That creates a vast array of opportunities for you. This is an ideal time to consider your next move, whether it’s in your current company or at a new one.
Just be sure to be the professional that you are, treating everyone with respect and not burning bridges. You never know where or when your paths will cross again or what shape the economy will be in.
We also talked about newer graduates and how they can start building their careers. With freshly minted degrees, their skills are in high demand, so that can be leveraged. It’s also never too early (or too late) to begin building a “platform” – a few social media channels of choice where you both create and curate content.
Reimagining work and reasons for optimism
In our 2019 world, while change as fast as it is happening can be scary, there are plenty of reasons to be optimistic. The 2018 Future of Jobs report by the World Economic Forum predicts that AI and robotics will create almost 60 million MORE jobs than they destroy by 2022.
How can you take advantage of that? The main takeaways from our conversation were to keep learning every day, stay flexible and agile, and embrace the reimagining of work.
When the universe gives you signs about what you’re good at, pay attention.
I learned this the hard way. Or the long way. Save yourself some time and follow the mantra to do what you’re good at. What you love.
When I was five, my uncle gave me a used typewriter. It was a cherished childhood gift. I’d happily type stories, letters, calendars. Anything, really.
The same year, I started kindergarten at Crow Island School. My family had just moved from the San Francisco Bay Area, where my sister and I were born, to Winnetka, Illinois.
As my mom tells the story, I was ready to drop out of school after day one. Apparently I was disappointed we wouldn’t learn to read until first grade. (Yes, this was a dramatically different era in public education, especially given what came next.)
So my mom went to talk to my teacher, a 23-year-old named Miss Rabeiga. She hadn’t taught anyone to read before, but she said she’d give it a try.
She asked her 19 students who wanted to learn to read. Six of us raised our hands. She invited us into her office during lunchtimes to teach us. I still remember the thrill of sounding out the hardest two-syllable word in our book, “some-thing.”
In high school my mom signed me up for a career counseling course, full of aptitude and interest tests.
With my abilities in school and interest in business and the arts, the report recommended several entry-level positions, many of which did not require a college degree. I wonder if the recommendations would have been different if my name was Carl instead of Caroline.
To be fair, though, I didn’t explore the ideas that better combined business and the arts – advertising specialist, marketing analyst and employee development trainer.
Following in my parents’ footsteps (they met at Berkeley in the 60s), I went to the University of California, albeit a different campus. I was there about six weeks when I realized I’d made a mistake. The school was not for me.
So I transferred to UCLA. And I fell in love with it. There was something for every interest – academics, athletics, activities.
The lesson? Don’t be afraid to make a change if something isn’t working for you.
It was hard to pick a major. My dad suggested English. “You love to read and write,” he reasoned.
“But Dad,” I countered, “what kind of career could I have? How will I become financially independent?”
So I chose economics, the closest thing UCLA had to an undergraduate business major. It seemed practical.
And I kept missing signs along the way. My professor for the economics of entrepreneurialism said I got the highest grade in the class because I was the best writer. Same thing with a business writing course, which I loved.
After four fun years at UCLA, all I knew was I wanted to work in the business world. So I signed up with a temp agency. On my third assignment, with a real-estate development firm, I was offered a job in their accounting department.
After less than a year, I moved on to aerospace procurement. I bought hardware for satellites and worked with suppliers in exciting places like Paris, Heidelberg, Gainesville and Joplin.
When aerospace crashed in the 90s, it wasn’t like my parents hadn’t warned me not to go into it. Layoffs were announced for 25% of the workforce. Every day I wondered if I was going to be let go. If only I’d realized I was a bargain as an entry-level person.
There was a silver lining, though. I finally focused on what I wanted to do with the rest of the my life. (This phenomenon now has a name – a quarterlife crisis.)
And I actually did the exercises. Seven stories about solving problems. Then underlining the verbs. And plotting them by skills with people, info/data or things. Mine were all with people and data. Not very good with things (maybe that’s why I don’t like cooking).
This turned into a flower exercise of my favorite fields, people, skills, working conditions, salary and places to live, capped with my purpose in life.
From there I matched my flower petals with potential careers. And that was the first time corporate communications came across my radar.
Finally, a field that combined business and the arts, just like my career counselor suggested.
People would pay me to write all day? Nirvana.
But how to make a change? That’s the subject of my next post.
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