Are You Doing What You Really Want to Do?

These beautiful photos of my farewell celebration are by Jessica Sterling

If you’re here, it’s because I really like you.

That’s how I started my remarks at my corporate farewell event exactly one month ago today.

As is my writing practice, I thought about what I wanted to say, who I wanted to thank, and how I hoped people would feel. I gave myself the speechwriting assignment and let my subconscious go to work on it. I find that ideas pop up while I’m doing other things.

Except with everyone else going on, it wasn’t quite done by the time the event arrived. Usually I like to ideate, write, iterate, memorize and then speak without notes. That didn’t happen this time.

This next part is for my colleagues who have told me I always seem prepared and poised. You may get a zing of delight to know that I was still writing my remarks in my Evernote app while my husband Kevin was driving us to the event.

So of course I couldn’t memorize it. And in the spirit of keeping it short, I left out a lot of what I wanted to say. So I’m sharing it here, for my friends and colleagues who were there, and for many others who aren’t in Southern California and couldn’t be there.

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My daughter was 11 months old when I came to work at DIRECTV as a communications manager.

In my interview, Jeff Torkelson said, “It’s really busy here. Do you think you can handle it?”

Those words haunted me at the end of my first week. Everyone was running around with their hair on fire. No one seemed to leave at the end of the day. It didn’t seem like anyone else had a baby at home. I realized I’d made a big mistake in taking the job.

But I couldn’t quit after a week. So I decided I would commit to a year. After that I would find a new job.

But then I found ways to succeed in the environment, like doing thinking and writing projects in the early mornings. And without my even asking, my male and female bosses offered me the ability to work from home one day a week when I returned to work after my son was born.

So much opportunity grabbed me. And it didn’t let go.

A transitional time like this reminds me of wise words from great leaders.

Eddy Hartenstein, the charismatic pioneer who founded DIRECTV and the father of modern-day satellite television, said upon leaving the company many years earlier that “we are victors, not victims.”

I remember Eddy coming to my office to practice his talk before his farewell event. My colleague Tina Morefield and I listened and tried not to shed tears. I still get chills thinking about it.

Mike White, another legendary leader at DIRECTV, often said that “sometimes you need to replant yourself.” He is a model of ongoing reinvention and lifelong learning. He’s a super-smart English major who became a CEO.

After 30 years in the corporate world (!), it was time for me to replant myself. It felt like being in my 20s again, graduating from UCLA and wondering what to do with the rest of my life. So I began to look back over the years for clues.

When I was 5 years old, I loved to read and write. My uncle gave me what used to be known as a typewriter (younger readers can Google it). I’d type up stories, letters and calendars. Anything, really.

My grandmother and my mother encouraged my writing (along with my parents requiring that I take math and science every year in high school). My dad suggested I study English in college. But I wondered what kind of a career I could have. How would I become financially independent? If only I’d known then about where Mike White’s career journey would lead.

So I studied economics. And I ultimately found corporate communications, at the intersection of business and writing. It fits perfectly with my Strong Interest Inventory profile of artistic, social and enterprising interests.

Julia Cameron who wrote The Artist’s Way might have called it a shadow career. Because I really wanted to be a writer. But I didn’t know how to do it and live the life that I wanted.

That’s probably why I started an internal blog at DIRECTV in 2012 when my team launched a social collaboration website. And I started this blog on New Year’s Day 2015 to explore the future of corporate communications. I had a lot of support and encouragement from my boss at the time, Joe Bosch, our chief human resources officer.

Now writing is the foundation of what I’m doing as an emerging entrepreneur. I’m writing, consulting, speaking and teaching about how professionals can grow their careers and business owners can grow their companies through social media.

With that said, the time with my colleagues in the corporate world was anything but a shadow career.

That’s because of all the incredible things we did together. There were so many challenging projects. But we brought everyone’s talents together, worked as a team and made it happen, again and again. It was fun and rewarding along the way.

At our first-ever dealer conference called Dealer Revolution, I remember dancing the night away in what was then the Texas Stadium after Kerin Lau and her events team made the 2,000-person event happen. We got to meet Rod Stewart before he performed that night. When it came time to take photos, I hoped I wouldn’t be taller than him. I wasn’t disappointed.

The ever-incredible events team

There are KaBOOM! playgrounds in New Orleans, Atlanta and Las Vegas. Children are probably happily playing on them right now, thanks to the work by Tina Morefield, Brooke Hanson, Brynne Dunn Jones, Jamie ZamoraAndy Bailey and so many more.

Anthony Martini joined us when many of the installation and service technician companies were insourced. Out of nothing, he built the corporate communications infrastructure. And working with Carlos Botero, those communications helped create a workforce so engaged that Willis Towers Watson wrote a case study on it.

Launching social collaboration with Michael Ambrozewicz and Thyda Nhek Vanhook and IT colleagues Mike Benson, Frank Palase, Brian Ulm and many others was my first real introduction to social media. It made me want to crawl under my desk and hide until it went away.

But that didn’t happen so I had to conquer my fears and move forward. I launched an internal blog so I could learn and model what it was like to try new things, look silly in the process and learn from everyone in the community.

Creating an employer brand with Michael Ambrozewicz, Linda Simon and Rosanne Setoguchi along with Mark Schumman bordered on the sublime. I remember the electrifying moment when Vanessa Sestina completed the puzzle with our tagline, we entertain the future. 

Then it came time for the corporate campus to be upgraded. It meant new ways of working in open and collaborative space. There was a lot of hand wringing. Fellow members of the Campus Launch Advisory Board will remember. In the end, Paul James and Hilary Hatch did an incredible job and Tyler Jacobson communicated it to perfection, with great counsel from Reza Ahmadi.

When we got the news that AT&T was going to acquire DIRECTV, it was the thrill of a lifetime to be part of the integration team led by Jennifer Cho at DIRECTV and Jeff McElfresh at AT&T. What seemed at first like having a front-row seat to a Harvard Business Review case study was actually like getting an MBA in real time.

Through it all, I was passionate about advancing women at the company through mentoring circles and employee resource groups. What a thrill when Dan York brought the Academy Award-winning actor Geena Davis to speak at the company not once, but three times. She is doing incredible work to bring gender parity to television and film roles. And Phil Goswitz was able to have Gywnne Shotwell, COO of SpaceX, come and speak to our women’s resource group.

Some of my mentoring circle friends

And as a capstone, I got to work with Fiona Carter as she championed gender equality and inclusion in the company’s advertising and media. I’ll always remember the inspiring work to measure and communicate inclusion with Chris Cervenka, Bill Moseley, Eric Ryan, Michelle Smith, Brett Levecchio, Caitlyn Wooldridge and so many more.

I’m beyond proud of the inclusive advertising being produced by Val Vargas, Sarita Rao, Sandra Howard and many others at the company. They are all role models that I hope many others in the industry will follow.

And whenever I didn’t know what to do or needed to brush off criticism, I got the best advice from my husband Kevin. Borrowed from the film Madagascar, he’d always say, “Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.”

There are so many more incredible memories and people (like my most recent team members Stephen Santiago and Sabrina McKnight). It’s been an honor to work with all of you. I learned so much from you. We’ll always be connected by the DIRECTV and AT&T family.

Things came full circle last week when I heard from Tina Quinn, who was my coach over the last year. She recommended Steven Pressfield’s book, The Artist’s Journey.

It picks up where Joseph Campbell and the hero’s journey leave off. Early in my corporate career I read about the hero’s journey. It articulates the timeless sequence of events for nearly every story, novel or film.

“The artist’s journey comes after the hero’s journey,” Pressfield says in his book about the lifelong pursuit of meaning. “Everything that has happened to us up to this point is rehearsal for us to act, now, as our true self and to find and speak in our true voice.”

There is a rich personal history that I draw upon now. It’s in no small part thanks to the people I spent the last few decades working with.

You have each inspired me in your own way. I am profoundly grateful.

So my question to you is, are you doing what you really want to do?Where is your artist’s journey leading you?

Thanks to Jessica Sterling at JessicaSterling.com for these beautiful photos of my farewell celebration

How to Conquer Your Fear of Social Media

Photo by Caroline Leach

“Look, talent comes everywhere, but having something to say and a way to say it so that people listen to it, that’s a whole other bag … there’s one reason we’re supposed to be here is to say something so people want to hear.” 

So said the tragic character Jackson Maine, played by Bradley Cooper in the magnificent 2018 take on the timeless story in the film A Star is Born.

These words spoke to me because of what many people have essentially expressed in one way or another as we talk about building their professional reputations in social media. That’s the focus of my blog and my new business.

The theme, the pattern, the refrain … is fear. Fear of doing the wrong thing. Fear of looking silly. Fear of not mattering.

But let me start at the beginning. Needing to replenish my own creative well, I went to an early screening of the movie before it officially opens. I was loosely riffing on author and screenwriter Julia Cameron‘s concept of an artist date.

While I’m religious about Cameron’s practice of morning pages – three pages of longhand writing first thing every morning as a way of clearing the mind’s cobwebs, solving knotty problems and setting the stage for the day – I’m not as dedicated to artist dates.

An artist date is an hour you take by yourself every week to do something that brings you joy. It could be walking through a park, visiting an art supply store, or going to a museum. It could be anything really.

The point is to spend time filling yourself up with new and different experiences. Cameron calls it “restocking the well.” Then you have more to give through your art, whatever form that takes … as a writer, a painter, a singer, a professional, a parent or any role you play in life where you creatively express yourself in some way.

Because I’m so goal oriented, an artist date is tough for me. I don’t always feel like I’m accomplishing something important. I’m not checking something off my never-ending list of things to do.

Yet launching a new business, while over-the-top exciting, also leaves me feeling depleted at moments. Significant creative task after creative task starts to take its toll.

I have to remind myself why people say Rome wasn’t built in a day. It’s not possible to do everything at once, as much as I want it all to be done … yesterday. I need some balance. Some new perspective. Some fresh ideas.

So I went to the movies with my husband. And some of the character’s lines crystallized and organized the patterns of what I’d been hearing from several different people. Yes, it’s true that there’s nothing new under the sun, but this powerful film brought a fresh take to a story for the ages.

And it’s really the story of all of our lives. Why are we here? What are we doing? And what do we have to say?

So here’s what I have to say about pushing beyond the fear of doing or saying the wrong thing in social media as you build a career or a company.

Keep your heart in the right place. It’s hard to do something bad or wrong if you truly have good intentions. If you’re coming at social media from the perspective of generosity – sharing what you know and what you believe with the goal of improving people’s lives in some way – you’re on the right track.

If you jump into social media with a spirit of reciprocity, engaging with others in a positive way, you’re not likely to make a misstep. And if for some reason you do, you can listen to feedback and continue a respectful dialogue.

Consider how people might perceive what you have to say. Could it inadvertently cause pain? Could it be misread? Heather Rim, a chief communications and marketing officer, said it well in a recent profile: “Be sure the content of a post can stand alone without being misinterpreted.”

If you have second thoughts after you share something – if you view it in new ways that others might see it – you can always edit it. I’ve done that on occasion with some of my blog posts. After the fact, I realized something I said could possibly be misconstrued. That’s easily changed and updated.

Experiment and try new things. Social media algorithms and functionality are changing all the time. So are we as human beings and as works in progress. Sometimes the social media content we think is our best doesn’t resonate with people the way we hoped. Other times, content we think is just okay becomes among our most popular. The important things are what can be learned from it and what can be done differently the next time.

To experiment freely and effectively, sometimes you have to silence your inner critic. A former colleague Val Vargas shared a brilliant strategy for this in a speech she gave to an employee resource group earlier this year. She said to give your critical inner voice a name, ideally an unflattering one. And tell her to be quiet.

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Going back to the opening words by the character Jackson Maine, they reminded me of one of my great bosses over the years. I had the privilege of working with Joe Bosch, a consummate chief human resources officer, for five incredible years. His coaching advice to me was often to be more deliberate about sharing my point of view.

That’s why I enjoy blogging so much. More easily than in a face-to-face meeting, I can shape and fine tune my point of view before I share it with people. Real-time feedback comes in the form of comments and conversations. And I can continue to edit and evolve as life does and I do.

If you weren’t afraid, what would you say?