Why You Should Be a Social Media Contrarian

The “rules” of social media are clear-cut and straightforward, right?

There are rules for the time of day you should post, the frequency of your posts, and the formula for your content.

All you have to do is follow these rules, and you’ll win on social media, right?

Um, no.

Following the rules might make you boring, turn off people in your network, and even slow down your career progress.

Instead, look at what everyone else is doing, and do something different. Do something that is true to you. Share content that only you could create.

For example, how many LinkedIn posts did you see that simply said “Happy New Year,” along with an image?

Did that add anything to your professional life? Tell you anything new? Help you be better in your work?

If the answer to any of those questions is no, then don’t feel compelled to post content. Just don’t.

Better to skip sharing anything than to post something that doesn’t educate or entertain your network.

That’s why I didn’t share any new year’s day messages. There wasn’t anything new or different I felt I could add to the conversation.

But I didn’t stay away from social media entirely. To the contrary. It was the ideal time to engage with others. It was a perfect moment to comment on or share their content, spark a conversation, and strengthen our relationship.

So for those times when you don’t feel you have anything informative, interesting, or entertaining to share, ramp up the time you spend engaging with others’ content.

Beyond that, how can you make your content more interesting?

 

Create your own data

I keep a number of Excel spreadsheets to track everything from the performance of my social media minute videos to the messages I send to people on my email list. I’ve tracked data from experiments on what happens from posting daily on LinkedIn. I’ve conducted my own research on how people use social media to boost their careers.

In each of these cases, I have something completely unique to share with my network. And they’re topics that can help others with their social media presence. Not surprisingly, writing about what my own data tells me has led to some of my higher performing LinkedIn articles. These are the ones with the most engagement as measured by the quality and quantity of the comments.

What data could you track that would help you in your own work, as well as help your network?

 

Look at the world in new ways

Conventional wisdom gets turned on its head every second with how fast the world is changing. As the new year approached, my social media feeds were filling up with posts about how to slay the work world right out of the gate. It felt like everyone was queuing up for a big race that began bright and early on the first Monday of the new year. Who could get going faster and go longer and better than anyone else?

And I realized that’s a fool’s errand. All that will do is exhaust me and everyone around me. What might work better instead? Well, I planned a winter break in late December that was both relaxing and productive. There was special time with family and friends, and there was time to reflect on and plan my business for the coming year. The first weekend of the year, I started working on key projects.

The first Monday back, I chose a contrarian activity. I went to a relaxing spot about five minutes from my house. I enjoyed a great latte and some quiet, contemplative time to “officially” start my work year (that’s the picture above and on Instagram). It felt calm and peaceful and totally different from what everyone else might have been doing.

When everyone is zigging, how could you zag?

 

Be real and be vulnerable

The blog posts and LinkedIn articles that got the most engagement tended to be those where I shared my struggles. Being Active on Social Media When Your Life Explodes was my most viewed article in 2019. Why? Probably because I shared my challenges in getting my first book published. Sure, I had goals, plans, and self-imposed deadlines. But what do you do when life intervenes? Based on the comments people shared, that realness resonated.

Launching a business, as I’ve done over the last year, is exhilarating and terrifying, all at the same time. Sometimes on social media we can get so focused on sharing the high points that we neglect to talk about what it really takes. What happens behind the scenes. How much grunt work is truly involved.

In the coming year, I’ll share more of that. So I can paint a balanced picture of this entrepreneurial life. The highs. The lows. The progress. The setbacks. Because I’ve learned that realness is what we all crave. And that’s contrary to the images of perfection we’ve been conditioned to share on social media.

The best example is when I sent personalized LinkedIn invitations to a few hundred people at a leadership conference I attended. It took several hours over a period of a few days to send all the invites. Why did I do this? I wanted to grow my connections and relationships with people who have common interests.

One person looked at my profile and invited me to lunch. When we met, she invited me to speak at an association where she was the board president. Several months later, I spoke about how to boost your career and organization through social media. My talk generated a large volume of social media content.

Someone across the country saw the content. As a result, he invited me to do a paid speaking engagement at his organization. He also purchased a few hundred copies of my book, What Successful People Do in Social Media.

Both speaking engagements were highly enjoyable events, where I met fascinating people that I keep in touch with to this day.

More than a year went by between the leadership conference and the second speaking engagement. And it was such a thrill the way it played out. It’s important for me to share the story behind the story. There was a lot of work involved. It wasn’t clear where it would lead. Yet it illustrates that doing the work and trying to be helpful to others can lead to exciting outcomes.

How do you share the real deal on social media?

 

How to Inspire People with a TEDx Talk

The TEDxYouth@PVPHS Program | March 22, 2019

Is giving a TEDx talk on your bucket list?

It’s definitely on mine. TEDx talks are independently organized under a free license from TED. This global speaking platform gets its name from a 1984 conference where technology, entertainment and design converged.

So many great TED talks have inspired me that I was eager to try to do the same. I spoke often in the corporate world and in the community, always enjoying the opportunity to impact people’s lives in a positive way.

But where to begin on a TEDx talk?

For me, it started with listening to TED talks during drive time. Then I read TED Talks: The Official Guide to Public Speaking by TED curator Chris Anderson. And I went to TEDWomen and got to see speakers up close.

As this blog took shape as an exploration of how people boost their careers through social media, I started sketching out ideas for a talk. Here’s what I learned on the journey.

Landing your talk. Convinced that my talk, Why Everyone Needs a Social Media Strategy for Their Career, would be of interest to just about anyone (oh, the folly of my thoughts), I applied to speak at a local event. I watched previous talks at the event and linked the “idea worth spreading” in my talk to the proposed theme.

But there was no response. Not even a rejection email. Just … nothing.

Of course, I finally realized, it’s like applying for a job. It rarely works to apply online. Your application just goes into a black hole from which it never emerges.

It also reminded me of one of my life mantras: don’t apply for stuff. Instead, let people find you. They tend to be more interested that way, and you don’t have to do as much convincing (aka, selling).

What happened next? An acquaintance was kind enough to introduce me to the curator of another event. We jumped on a call. It did not go well. I hadn’t prepared in the right way. My idea fell flat.

For a while I let this simmer on the back burner.

One day I checked Messenger.  There was an intriguing message from Sara Robinson, someone I knew from our local community. Her daughter’s service learning leadership class in high school was putting on a second annual TEDxYouth event. They were looking for inspiring speakers. Sara said she thought of me.

Was I interested?

Um, YES!

The official term for what happened might be called “inbound marketing.” It’s all about sharing content in different ways. Ultimately, that content may interest people in coming to you. Blog posts, YouTube videos, articles, speeches and more would fall into this category.

In addition to this blog, I was the inspiration chair in a group called National Charity League. At the beginning of each monthly meeting, I gave a short inspirational talk. I wanted that role because it was a difficult time in my life, and I thought I could inspire myself by inspiring others.

Of my various community roles, this was an all-time favorite. And I never dreamed it would lead to the chance to give a TEDx talk. Which just goes to show you never know where actions you take today might lead in the future.

You don’t have to know how you’re going to make a dream come true at the outset. You just have to declare to yourself that you will do it. Somehow. The “how” will make itself clear as you begin to take steps toward your goal.

Creating your talk. TED talks are about ideas worth spreading. Each talk is about a single idea. You have 18 minutes or less to tell the story of that idea.

My original talk was about why you need a social media strategy for your career. The feedback I got was that it sounded like a sales pitch. While that was not my intent what I wanted to do was equip people with the tools to do it themselves it was helpful to know that’s how it came across to one curator.

When the TEDxYouth opportunity came up, it seemed like the ideal audience to pivot the focus. Teens use social media to stay in touch and share who they are. What they may not consider is that social media can be a powerful and fun way to learn throughout their lives.

That became my idea worth spreading: how social media can make you a #lifelonglearner. Access to anything you want to know is no further away than the social media apps on your phone. You can learn about any topic you choose, learn about the social media platforms themselves, and help others learn about you. A transcript of the talk is in a previous blog post.

Getting feedback on your talk. The iterative nature of the TEDx process is something that’s ideal for all speaking engagements. I did an initial read for the students on the TEDx committee almost two months before the event. We were packed into a small office adjacent to the main classroom, with the students sitting on the floor and me presenting from the notes on my iPad.

The next session was an evening presentation over dinner with all the speakers. There were six student speakers and two adults me and a well-known English teacher and softball coach. We created small groups after the presentations to give each other feedback. I was impressed by the caliber of the speakers and how much heart and soul they were putting into their talks.

After that, we each came to class two more times to deliver our talks. With every visit we got additional ideas and suggestions. It was an incredibly thorough way to do it. We all improved our talks with continuous feedback and iteration of our talks.

And we all benefited from the great leadership of Heather Myrick. She initiated the school’s service learning leadership class that raises awareness, promotes compassion, and takes action in local and global communities. She had incredibly insightful feedback for each speaker, along with much encouragement.

Memorizing your talk. Memorizing a 1,700-word talk is no easy feat. It surely would have been faster in my college days, when I was used to cramming large amounts of material into my brain right before finals week. But with the passage of time and the sheer volume of information we encounter on a typical day that takes up precious brain space, memorization proved difficult.

I tried recording my talk as a video and listening to it before I fell asleep. Research says this is a good way to make information stick. The various sleep cycles are supposed to solidify the learning. I also tried listening to the recording during drive time.

But what ultimately worked for me was repetition, repetition and more repetition. I’d memorize one paragraph by repeating it aloud multiple times as I paced across my office. Once I had one paragraph down, I’d add the next one. Eventually I worked up to a page. Then two pages. And three pages. Ultimately I got to all four pages.

I must have repeated that talk 200 times, and I still didn’t feel like I fully had it. I felt like if I paused during the delivery, I’d forget where I was and be unable to remember the next line.

What was it that made it fairly simple to deliver the talk while I was driving in my car, while taking the stage introduced a whole new level of challenge?

The difference really was the thought of being judged. Yet I had to remind myself of what I often coached others on in the corporate world people in the audience are rooting for you. They want you to succeed.

Talking yourself off the ledge. Procrastination is a problem for me. My tendencies toward perfection make me put off tasks and the emotional pain of not feeling like I’m measuring up to the standards I set for myself. Of course, this just compounds the problem, because then there isn’t enough time to create something as good as I would like.

When I finally deemed my talk almost good enough to share with my family members, the actual event wasn’t that far off. I felt like they were underwhelmed with my delivery, to say the least. To their credit, they had some great ideas and suggestions.

The problem for me was that it was difficult to memorize my talk in the first place. Now I was going to need to rewrite areas and re-memorize it. But then I remembered a great conversation between two TED speakers on a podcast called The Tim Ferriss Show.

In an episode on overcoming fear and embracing creativity, Susan Cain and Tim Ferriss talked about their experiences preparing for the TED stage. In each case, some late-breaking feedback caused them to make last-minute changes to their talks. The pressure was intense. Yet the end results made their talks all the better.

Having insight into others’ experiences helped me talk myself off the ledge, along with some much-needed encouragement from my husband, Kevin.

Enjoying the experience. The day of the event I must have run through the whole talk about 50 times. Or at least it felt that way. Yet when I would think though specific sections, my mind would often draw a blank. I started to freak out a bit, wondering if I’d be able to remember and deliver the whole talk.

I call these moments the speeding train syndrome. That’s when you’ve done a tremendous amount of preparation and the deadline is looming, but you never feel fully prepared. At that point, there isn’t that much more you can do, because the train will continue speeding along toward its destination.

This was when I decided I had to surrender to the timeline, do my best, and try to enjoy the experience. If not for me, then for the sake of the audience. As a TEDxYouth event, the size of the audience was limited. But I was thrilled that my husband, our two children, our daughter’s friend (both serendipitously home for spring break from college), and one of my friends were able to attend.

We were going to have some fun together. That’s what I told myself as I walked onto the stage and took my place in the middle of the TEDx red circular carpet. And I think we did! The parts where my family members had given feedback and suggestions were the moments that inspired some laughter from the audience.

Amplifying the experience. One moment I was waiting in the wings, ready to go onstage, with butterflies in my stomach. Then I stepped onto the stage, into the light. And I began.

Before I knew it, I was done. I remembered my talk as I’d practiced it time and time again.

What next? The first thing was to offer encouragement to the speakers in the green room who would follow me. It was a sight to see a group of people individually pacing the room, practicing their talks.

The next day I shared my talk transcript in a blog post. I wanted to reach a larger audience after the weeks, days and hours of effort in fine tuning it into an idea worth spreading.

And I wanted to share the experience with you, if this is a dream of yours too. If you have an idea worth sharing, there are TEDx events all over the world. I encourage you to seek one out and share your idea. The world needs you!

The Art of the Acceptance Speech

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Being in the video entertainment business, it’s especially fun to watch the awards shows.

Beyond checking out the red-carpet looks, I’m intrigued by the acceptance speeches.

There’s an art to saying something profound, entertaining and tweet-able, all while weaving in a few carefully chosen words of thanks.

Bruce Feiler summed it up well last year in his New York Times piece, Saying Thank You in 45 Seconds. According to Bruce, that’s about 65 words, or two tweets. And he goes on to give some excellent advice.

Watching the Golden Globes this month, I was listening for great speeches.

And I was especially touched by Common and John Legend’s acceptance speech for best original song for Glory in the film Selma.

It was such a classy, optimistic, inclusive, real way to highlight the film’s core messages of equality, humanity and continuing to work toward making our world a better place for everyone.

Check it out if you want to brighten your day, learn to be an inspiring speaker and do what you can to improve the world.

Looking forward to more great words at the Academy Awards in February.

How to Give a Great Speech

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“What’s your process for writing a speech?”

That was an unexpected interview question several years ago. An energetic organizational development professional with a Ph.D. at a large corporation sat across the desk from me awaiting my response.

“Process?” I racked my brain as I tried to stave off panic. “I just sit down and do it,” I thought.

Because I’m on the intuitive end of the Myers-Briggs preferences spectrum between intuition and sensing, I prefer patterns and future possibilities to an over-emphasis on process.

However, a response was required.

And here’s my process, whether I’m writing a speech for a C-level leader or myself – like in the photo above that Shel Holtz took of the social media general session at the 2013 IABC World Conference.

As I reflected on how I prepared, I came up with a 12-step process. Here are thoughts on each.

Planning. What are the objectives for the speech? What do you need the audience to think or do differently? Beyond that, assess the format of the speech. Is it a keynote? An interview? A panel? Decide if the selected format will enable you to best meet the objectives. If not, make a change.

Analyzing the audience. Who is the audience? What are their key characteristics? What do they believe and what do you need to change about their beliefs or actions? Consider ways you can make an emotional connection with your audience.

Ideating. Sketch out ideas on paper, ask others for input and set times to “think without thinking,” a concept inspired by Malcolm Gladwell’s book Blink. Consider what you want to accomplish. Then set it aside and go for a walk, take a nap or do other work. The ideas will flow later as your subconscious mind generates them while you walk, sleep or work.

Researching. Create a thesis statement. What are you trying to prove? Or disprove? Then do some research for facts and figures that support your thesis. Bring a critical eye to the online sources you choose. Will they carry enough weight with your audience? Do they add variety? Do they help you present your subject in fresh, unexpected or humorous ways?

Outlining. Create a rough outline from everything you’ve done so far. Start with a compelling opening. A dramatic statement. A startling question. Or a keen observation. Then make sure your information flows in a logical progression. Find the surprise in your material for the ending. Give the audience a “so what” to summarize. And leave them with a strong call to action of what they should do next. Start thinking about accompanying visuals. What photos, images or videos could enhance your message, add humor or bring emotion to your subject?

Writing. Now it’s time to write the first draft of your speech. But first you’ll have to get rid of the inner critic. What works for me is to “write sh**.” Just “write anything” to get words on the page. No judgments about whether they’re good or bad. Just put words on the screen. Because they can be shaped later in the editing process. That’s what I do with this blog. The real art comes in the editing, eliminating and refining.

Refining. Set your draft aside. Ideally for a day. If you’re short on time, even an hour will help. Then look at your draft with a fresh set of eyes. You’ll probably find that it’s better than you thought. And you’ll have some perspective to start editing and refining it. Does the opening grab the audience right from the start? Does the material flow in a logical way? Have you used simple words and short sentences that you would actually use in conversation? Have you triple-checked all of your facts?

Developing visuals. What visuals will enhance your talk and bring your key points to life? Consider your medium. Will you use Prezi, PowerPoint, SlideShare or a SlideDoc? Your visuals aren’t your speaking notes, so don’t cram them with a lot of words. Think about the visuals that can help tell your story. A photo or a video clip, perhaps. Watch TED talks for ideas and inspiration.

Rehearsing. Memorize your speech, or at least the key points, so you can deliver your talk in a friendly and relaxed way. I record myself giving the speech on my iPhone, and then I listen to it during drive time to memorize and refine it. Arrive early and rehearse on the stage where you’ll give the presentation. Know who will introduce you, how you’ll enter the stage and where you’ll stand or sit. Move around the stage – and even among the audience – if you can as you speak. Magic Johnson did this once at a conference I attended. He literally jumped off the stage, walked up and down the aisles, took selfies with audience members and generally spun speaking gold.

Promoting. Promote your speech before before and after you give it. Promotion before will encourage more people to attend. There are the usual ways, such as the conference website, social media channels and news releases. Tap into your own social media, whether it’s LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram or others. Make sure the audience knows your Twitter handle and the conference hashtag. Right after your speech, jump into any conversations in social media – to retweet observations that amplify your message, make new connections and extend the reach of your talk. Post a video of part or all of your speech in YouTube.

Presenting. Here’s where feedback on other speeches can help you. Whenever you speak, see if it can be recorded. As painful as it may be, watch the recording. Identify what you did well and what you would improve. Ask others for feedback. Act on it. Sleep well the night before your talk. Eat a good breakfast. Wear something that makes you feel great – especially bold solid colors that will stand out and contrast with the stage. Do the Amy Cuddy Wonder Woman power pose right before you speak. If you’re nervous, remember the audience is rooting for you. Be human and relatable. Pretend you’re having a one-on-one conversation with someone in the audience. Make eye contact. Smile. Breathe. Enjoy.

Getting feedback. Stick around after your talk to answer questions and ask others what they thought. See what the buzz is in social media. Watch the video of your talk. Check out the conference evaluations, if there are any. Just like in your life and your career, strive to get better each time you speak.

Many people have inspired me as I’ve come to love public speaking. I listen to TED talks during drive time – to learn something new, pick up speaking tips and identify thought leaders I may seek as speakers as corporate leadership events.

Chris Anderson who curates TED is writing a book called Talk This Way, out in spring 2016. In the meantime, some of his thinking is crystallized in How to Give a Killer Presentation in Harvard Business Review.

And Nancy Duarte is one of my favorite thought leaders in presenting with panache through storytelling – in her TED talk, LinkedIn blog and website.

This week I spoke about self-awareness to high-potential leaders at my company. Using the process above, I hope I’ve helped inspire colleagues on their development journeys. Based on some of the feedback, I’m hopeful and inspired that I did.