What to Do When Social Media Gets You Down

Photo of Cynthia Dillard, Kathie Frasquillo and Mallika Siegel by Jessica Sterling

Social media is in the headlines a lot these days. And not always in a good way.

As I shared in my TEDx talk this spring about lifelong learning, social media gets a bad rap. It saps our attention. It makes us depressed. It polarizes our world.

Scrolling through our Instagram, Facebook or LinkedIn feeds can be a trip down the rabbit hole of comparison hell. None of us can ever measure up to the carefully curated feeds of people and brands we see every day.

Unless …

… we remember that the only competition is with ourselves.

… we remember never to compare others’ outsides to our insides.

… and most importantly, we remember a great power of social media.

And that’s the power to lift others up. To rejoice in the accomplishments of others. And to use our voice on social media to amplify their good deeds.

On Administrative Professionals’ Day this spring, I was inspired by a post from Anne Chow, a senior leader at AT&T and someone who always inspired me when I worked there. She lauded her administrative assistant and how important she was to the her and the team.

That made me reflect. I had the good fortune to work personally with two exceptionally talented assistants, Kathie Frasquillo and Nancy Takahashi. And I worked peripherally with others, including Cynthia Dillard and Mallika Siegel.

And that made me remember I had some great pictures of them from my corporate farewell event (thank you, Jessica Sterling). It was the perfect confluence of factors to post a thank-you message on LinkedIn.

Seeing the community of comments and appreciation that sprung out of it was truly gratifying. What a boost for all involved. Suddenly, my day felt brighter, and hopefully others felt the same.

It was the putting into action one of the concepts in the book I published this spring, What Successful People Do in Social Media: A Short Guide to Boosting Your Career.

In my book, I talk about the social media trifecta. What’s that? It’s bucketing your social media content into thirds:

  • The first one is sharing what you’re doing in the work world.
  • The second one is amplifying the great things your team or your colleagues are doing.
  • And the third one is being a brand ambassador for your organization.

In this way, you don’t over index on promoting yourself and potentially turning people off in the process. You build goodwill with your colleagues and your team by highlighting their good works. And where it makes sense you share the good work of your employer.

As spring soon gives way to summer, I reflected on some of the social media posts that made me rejoice in what colleagues and friends are doing ..

My former colleague and inclusion mentor L. Michelle Smith launched the popular The Culture Soup Podcast and embarked on an inspiring series of speaking events.

My friend Corii Berg boldly stepped into the president role of the USC Alumni Association Board of Governors, following other inspirational leaders Michael Felix and Jaime Lee.

My former boss Fiona Carter is now leading the #SeeHer movement to bring equality to and eliminate bias in the way women and girls are portrayed in advertising and media.

My friends Tom Henkenius, Austin Maddox, Madeline Lindsay, Allegra Guitierrez, Briana Latter, Stephanie Corrigan, Danielle Harvey Stinson and others celebrated their graduations from USC.

My former colleagues Sarah Groves, John Stancliffe and others continue to inspire me with their social media innovation in the B2B space and beyond.

My students in the social media program at the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising are all doing amazing things as they get ready to graduate in June.

My friend Tina Quinn published a fabulous book this spring called Invisible Things. Tina coached me through some difficult times a few years ago and she inspires me every day.

My former colleague TeNita Ballard is doing so much to make the world a more inclusive place, especially for veterans and people with disabilities.

My former colleague Charles Miller keeps me and others up to speed with beautiful scenes of New York on his Instagram grid.

And an amazing thing has happened just as I’ve reflected on all of these special people and what they’re doing in the world. I feel uplifted. I feel inspired. I feel happy for them.

And the way for me to share that feeling is by engaging with their social media content, by liking and commenting and sharing their good deeds.

This spring has been difficult in many ways. Yes, it was the thrill of a lifetime to give a TEDx talk and publish a book and help my husband Kevin with the launch of his new restaurant this summer (Pacific Standard Prime in Redondo Beach, for those in So Cal).

But it’s been challenging shepherding my son through his last few months, weeks and days of high school. Like seniors all over the country, he’s beyond ready to move on to the next thing.

In his case, it’s a bit of a different path. He’s been “scrimming” (practicing) with two esports teams in League of Legends. Now when he’s sitting on the couch with his headset on playing a video game, he’s actually doing a job and getting his first paychecks.

Our world is changing so quickly, it can be hard to keep up. But if the happiness I feel right now in thinking about friends and colleagues is any indication, one way for you to find happiness is to look for the good in others and amplify it in social media.

Want More LinkedIn Reach? Post in a Group

How often do you make a desirable discovery by accident?

If you’re me, not as often as I’d like.

It’s like finding $20 in your pocket. It doesn’t happen frequently, but it’s always a happy discovery to meet up with serendipity.

Three times in the last 6 months I’ve posted a conversation in the The Official USC Alumni Association Group, and it’s shown up the next day as the lead item in the monthly digest email for the group.

There are more than 46,000 members in the group. And some portion of them probably opt in to get the group’s email digest. So my posts are landing front and center in the inboxes of many fellow alums.

It wasn’t something I planned. It’s part of my volunteer role on the USC Alumni Association Board of Governors. I’m proud to represent the USC Annenberg School for Communication and Journalism, where I got my master’s degree.

Each of us on the Communications & Marketing Committee led by Tom Henkenius and Mary Ann Brennan regularly post content in the group and engage in conversations with fellow alums in the group. Madeline Lindsay from the Alumni Association also keeps us on track.

It just so happened, a few of my posts were on Sunday nights as I was wrapping up my weekend to-do lists.

And on Monday morning when I saw my post featured in an email, I paused for a moment.

Wait.

What?

Why was my post being featured?

Then I realized I must have been the last person to post before the monthly digest email went out.

The learning?

If you want your posts in a group to get pushed to a larger audience, identify the timing of the monthly or weekly digest emails, and do your post shortly before then.

Now, I don’t want to take the limelight from my fellow alums. I don’t want to be the featured post every time. But once in a while is kind of fun.

The other learning?

It’s imperative to customize your headline in your LinkedIn profile. Don’t use the default of your current title. Personalize it to tell your story. Why? Because it displays when you comment on content … and appear in search results … and when your group post is featured in the digest email.

The recommendations?

Join groups that are relevant your interests. Be an active participant. Post content that the group can benefit from. Engage with the posts of others, by liking and commenting on the content.

Social media is all about reciprocity.

And maybe every once in while, you’ll have the featured post. That’s what serendipity taught me.

What have you learned in social media about serendipity?