Being Active on Social Media When Your Life Explodes

my picture of serenity

I was going to publish my book today. Life intervened. As life often does.

It reminds me that many cliches are true. Or at least they have a kernel of truth in them. Otherwise they wouldn’t be cliches.

Sayings about life and about writing have been ringing in my ears much more these last few months.

Life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans. –Allen Saunders, John Lennon and perhaps others

There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed. –Ernest Hemingway

The art of writing is the art of applying the seat of the pants to the seat of the chair. Mary Heaton Vorse

So, what’s been happening in my life these last few months? In a nutshell, it’s been an incredible and an intense kaleidoscope of highs and lows.

I had the opportunity of a lifetime to say farewell to the corporate world after many wonderful years and start my own business. I write, research, consult, speak and teach about what successful people do in social media to build their careers and companies.

It’s incredibly exciting to build something from the ground up. So much needs to be done and created out of thin air. A name. A trademark. A limited liability company. A book. A group of fabulous clients. A TEDx talk to give soon. A class syllabus to complete. And the list goes on.

My son also started his senior year in high school. That brings a lot with college applications and big questions about what’s next for my League of Legends grand master player, the top 500 players in North America. (Really. People with access to a League client can find him at “ExodLa”)

My mother-in-law needed more help managing her life last fall, so I stepped in with other family members and picked up her finances. Sadly, she passed away in December. As she said shortly before that with courage and dignity, “ninety-one years is a pretty good run.” Indeed. We miss her every day.

My husband Kevin is opening a restaurant, and I’m his marketing person. My marketing and social media plan for the best new steakhouse in Redondo Beach, California is done, and now it’s all in the execution. Exciting, yes. Easy, right? 🙂

My daughter asked for help last night picking her spring quarter classes in college. If only I could recall or quickly find the graduation requirements for psychology and literature. But it was fun to talk about the pros and cons of childhood or adolescent psychology and Victorian or 1960s literature. There’s even a lit class (as in “literature,” not the Urban Dictionary def) about the TV show Jane The Virgin. Sign me up!

My mom was ready to replace her iPad and we waded through all the options together (iPad Pro? how much storage? which keyboard?) to find what would work best for her. I’m so excited all of her new tech goodies arrived and she’s having a blast.

Every day for the last week, we had the whole family and many helpers on deck to prepare my mother-in-law’s house for sale. It’s the first time it’s on the market in 50 years. All I will say is that’s a lot of clearing and cleaning.

The fourth truck from the junk haulers pulled away from the property just 45 minutes before the photographer arrived so the house could be listed that evening. The backyard is pictured above, by the way. The serenity is a much-needed contrast to our 21st-century lives. 

It is strange to feel incredibly blessed and completely overwhelmed all at the same time. Much of it has to do with how I like to live my life. I love being surrounded by fascinating people and interesting projects and big problems to solve.

As one of my former bosses, Joe Bosch, used to say, “Caroline, I can see your fingerprints on everything.” I think (hope?!) he meant that in a good way. I see connections between people and projects and ideas, and I like to bring them all together.

But what happens when life gets so overwhelming that it reaches the breaking point? One of the questions I’ve been struggling with is how to get my book published and how to share about it in social media. That means I also struggle with wanting everything to be perfect … or as close to perfect as it can be.

Let’s start with the easy parts. First, the book is written. It’s just about ready to become available as an ebook and in print (not that it was easy to write, but the hard part of writing and editing is done). It’s called What Successful People Do in Social Media: A Short Guide to Boosting Your Career.

Second, I know I’m supposed to be sharing more about my book on social media before it launches. But I also want the content I post to be as good as it can possibly be. And that takes time.

This is where I have to gently remind myself to just get it out there. Even if it’s not perfect. And when I’ve done that these last few weeks, I’ve been so humbled and heartened by everyone’s response.

It also reminded me that perfection is boring. It’s what puts people off rather than brings us together in our shared humanity of imperfection. We never truly know the challenges others are facing.

I can only imagine the labyrinth of issues you will navigate today. My heart goes out to you and wishes you courage and strength to work through it. And also that you might enjoy and cherish this wild and crazy experience called life and all of the wonderful people in it. 

This year I came up with five mantras for how I want to feel and act every day. When I start to get spun up about this or that, I remind myself of them. Here they are:

  1. Feel good now (thank you, Rhonda Byrne)
  2. Just do it (thank you, Nike)
  3. Deep work first (thank you, Cal Newport)
  4. Progress every day (thank you, Teresa Amabile)
  5. Enjoy every day (thank you, Linda Simon)

These might lend themselves to a future blog post, to fully describe what they mean and how they shape my days. But for now I’ll simply say from personal experience that the way to keep going is to be kind to yourself and others.

Recognize you’re carrying a heavy load. You don’t have to do it alone, and you don’t have to be perfect. Just be kind to yourself and others. Be committed to taking steps to move forward every day, even if you can’t complete the whole project you had in mind right away.

I hit some inevitable bumps in the road, and I made adjustments. I’m excited to say my book is coming … in March instead of in February (or last December or September) as I originally planned. I’m so excited to share it with you and with the world. I hope it will help you be all you can be by telling your special story on social media.

To wrap up, here are some of my other favorite quotes about life and writing that keep me moving forward …

Start before you’re ready. –Steven Pressfield (big ups to Tina Quinn for telling me about his book The Artist’s Journey)

Don’t wait for moods. You accomplish nothing if you do that. Your mind must know it has got to get down to work. –Pearl S. Buck

You can always edit a bad page. You can’t edit a blank page. … and … You don’t love someone because they’re perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they’re not. –Jodi Picoult

On my seemingly endless “to do” list, I had a note to publish a blog post before the end of February. Where was I going to find the time? I wasn’t. So I just decided to sit down this morning and write what was in my heart … guided by the principles of striving to be as positive, upbeat and helpful as I can.

So there you have it. The secret to being active on social media when your life is bursting at the seams is to just take the next step forward. Give some thought to what you could share about your own experience that could help your friends and colleagues on their journeys.

What are your secrets for sharing on social media when your life explodes?

Are You Doing What You Really Want to Do?

These beautiful photos of my farewell celebration are by Jessica Sterling

If you’re here, it’s because I really like you.

That’s how I started my remarks at my corporate farewell event exactly one month ago today.

As is my writing practice, I thought about what I wanted to say, who I wanted to thank, and how I hoped people would feel. I gave myself the speechwriting assignment and let my subconscious go to work on it. I find that ideas pop up while I’m doing other things.

Except with everyone else going on, it wasn’t quite done by the time the event arrived. Usually I like to ideate, write, iterate, memorize and then speak without notes. That didn’t happen this time.

This next part is for my colleagues who have told me I always seem prepared and poised. You may get a zing of delight to know that I was still writing my remarks in my Evernote app while my husband Kevin was driving us to the event.

So of course I couldn’t memorize it. And in the spirit of keeping it short, I left out a lot of what I wanted to say. So I’m sharing it here, for my friends and colleagues who were there, and for many others who aren’t in Southern California and couldn’t be there.

______

My daughter was 11 months old when I came to work at DIRECTV as a communications manager.

In my interview, Jeff Torkelson said, “It’s really busy here. Do you think you can handle it?”

Those words haunted me at the end of my first week. Everyone was running around with their hair on fire. No one seemed to leave at the end of the day. It didn’t seem like anyone else had a baby at home. I realized I’d made a big mistake in taking the job.

But I couldn’t quit after a week. So I decided I would commit to a year. After that I would find a new job.

But then I found ways to succeed in the environment, like doing thinking and writing projects in the early mornings. And without my even asking, my male and female bosses offered me the ability to work from home one day a week when I returned to work after my son was born.

So much opportunity grabbed me. And it didn’t let go.

A transitional time like this reminds me of wise words from great leaders.

Eddy Hartenstein, the charismatic pioneer who founded DIRECTV and the father of modern-day satellite television, said upon leaving the company many years earlier that “we are victors, not victims.”

I remember Eddy coming to my office to practice his talk before his farewell event. My colleague Tina Morefield and I listened and tried not to shed tears. I still get chills thinking about it.

Mike White, another legendary leader at DIRECTV, often said that “sometimes you need to replant yourself.” He is a model of ongoing reinvention and lifelong learning. He’s a super-smart English major who became a CEO.

After 30 years in the corporate world (!), it was time for me to replant myself. It felt like being in my 20s again, graduating from UCLA and wondering what to do with the rest of my life. So I began to look back over the years for clues.

When I was 5 years old, I loved to read and write. My uncle gave me what used to be known as a typewriter (younger readers can Google it). I’d type up stories, letters and calendars. Anything, really.

My grandmother and my mother encouraged my writing (along with my parents requiring that I take math and science every year in high school). My dad suggested I study English in college. But I wondered what kind of a career I could have. How would I become financially independent? If only I’d known then about where Mike White’s career journey would lead.

So I studied economics. And I ultimately found corporate communications, at the intersection of business and writing. It fits perfectly with my Strong Interest Inventory profile of artistic, social and enterprising interests.

Julia Cameron who wrote The Artist’s Way might have called it a shadow career. Because I really wanted to be a writer. But I didn’t know how to do it and live the life that I wanted.

That’s probably why I started an internal blog at DIRECTV in 2012 when my team launched a social collaboration website. And I started this blog on New Year’s Day 2015 to explore the future of corporate communications. I had a lot of support and encouragement from my boss at the time, Joe Bosch, our chief human resources officer.

Now writing is the foundation of what I’m doing as an emerging entrepreneur. I’m writing, consulting, speaking and teaching about how professionals can grow their careers and business owners can grow their companies through social media.

With that said, the time with my colleagues in the corporate world was anything but a shadow career.

That’s because of all the incredible things we did together. There were so many challenging projects. But we brought everyone’s talents together, worked as a team and made it happen, again and again. It was fun and rewarding along the way.

At our first-ever dealer conference called Dealer Revolution, I remember dancing the night away in what was then the Texas Stadium after Kerin Lau and her events team made the 2,000-person event happen. We got to meet Rod Stewart before he performed that night. When it came time to take photos, I hoped I wouldn’t be taller than him. I wasn’t disappointed.

The ever-incredible events team

There are KaBOOM! playgrounds in New Orleans, Atlanta and Las Vegas. Children are probably happily playing on them right now, thanks to the work by Tina Morefield, Brooke Hanson, Brynne Dunn Jones, Jamie ZamoraAndy Bailey and so many more.

Anthony Martini joined us when many of the installation and service technician companies were insourced. Out of nothing, he built the corporate communications infrastructure. And working with Carlos Botero, those communications helped create a workforce so engaged that Willis Towers Watson wrote a case study on it.

Launching social collaboration with Michael Ambrozewicz and Thyda Nhek Vanhook and IT colleagues Mike Benson, Frank Palase, Brian Ulm and many others was my first real introduction to social media. It made me want to crawl under my desk and hide until it went away.

But that didn’t happen so I had to conquer my fears and move forward. I launched an internal blog so I could learn and model what it was like to try new things, look silly in the process and learn from everyone in the community.

Creating an employer brand with Michael Ambrozewicz, Linda Simon and Rosanne Setoguchi along with Mark Schumman bordered on the sublime. I remember the electrifying moment when Vanessa Sestina completed the puzzle with our tagline, we entertain the future. 

Then it came time for the corporate campus to be upgraded. It meant new ways of working in open and collaborative space. There was a lot of hand wringing. Fellow members of the Campus Launch Advisory Board will remember. In the end, Paul James and Hilary Hatch did an incredible job and Tyler Jacobson communicated it to perfection, with great counsel from Reza Ahmadi.

When we got the news that AT&T was going to acquire DIRECTV, it was the thrill of a lifetime to be part of the integration team led by Jennifer Cho at DIRECTV and Jeff McElfresh at AT&T. What seemed at first like having a front-row seat to a Harvard Business Review case study was actually like getting an MBA in real time.

Through it all, I was passionate about advancing women at the company through mentoring circles and employee resource groups. What a thrill when Dan York brought the Academy Award-winning actor Geena Davis to speak at the company not once, but three times. She is doing incredible work to bring gender parity to television and film roles. And Phil Goswitz was able to have Gywnne Shotwell, COO of SpaceX, come and speak to our women’s resource group.

Some of my mentoring circle friends

And as a capstone, I got to work with Fiona Carter as she championed gender equality and inclusion in the company’s advertising and media. I’ll always remember the inspiring work to measure and communicate inclusion with Chris Cervenka, Bill Moseley, Eric Ryan, Michelle Smith, Brett Levecchio, Caitlyn Wooldridge and so many more.

I’m beyond proud of the inclusive advertising being produced by Val Vargas, Sarita Rao, Sandra Howard and many others at the company. They are all role models that I hope many others in the industry will follow.

And whenever I didn’t know what to do or needed to brush off criticism, I got the best advice from my husband Kevin. Borrowed from the film Madagascar, he’d always say, “Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.”

There are so many more incredible memories and people (like my most recent team members Stephen Santiago and Sabrina McKnight). It’s been an honor to work with all of you. I learned so much from you. We’ll always be connected by the DIRECTV and AT&T family.

Things came full circle last week when I heard from Tina Quinn, who was my coach over the last year. She recommended Steven Pressfield’s book, The Artist’s Journey.

It picks up where Joseph Campbell and the hero’s journey leave off. Early in my corporate career I read about the hero’s journey. It articulates the timeless sequence of events for nearly every story, novel or film.

“The artist’s journey comes after the hero’s journey,” Pressfield says in his book about the lifelong pursuit of meaning. “Everything that has happened to us up to this point is rehearsal for us to act, now, as our true self and to find and speak in our true voice.”

There is a rich personal history that I draw upon now. It’s in no small part thanks to the people I spent the last few decades working with.

You have each inspired me in your own way. I am profoundly grateful.

So my question to you is, are you doing what you really want to do?Where is your artist’s journey leading you?

Thanks to Jessica Sterling at JessicaSterling.com for these beautiful photos of my farewell celebration