What to Do When Social Media Gets You Down

Photo of Cynthia Dillard, Kathie Frasquillo and Mallika Siegel by Jessica Sterling

Social media is in the headlines a lot these days. And not always in a good way.

As I shared in my TEDx talk this spring about lifelong learning, social media gets a bad rap. It saps our attention. It makes us depressed. It polarizes our world.

Scrolling through our Instagram, Facebook or LinkedIn feeds can be a trip down the rabbit hole of comparison hell. None of us can ever measure up to the carefully curated feeds of people and brands we see every day.

Unless …

… we remember that the only competition is with ourselves.

… we remember never to compare others’ outsides to our insides.

… and most importantly, we remember a great power of social media.

And that’s the power to lift others up. To rejoice in the accomplishments of others. And to use our voice on social media to amplify their good deeds.

On Administrative Professionals’ Day this spring, I was inspired by a post from Anne Chow, a senior leader at AT&T and someone who always inspired me when I worked there. She lauded her administrative assistant and how important she was to the her and the team.

That made me reflect. I had the good fortune to work personally with two exceptionally talented assistants, Kathie Frasquillo and Nancy Takahashi. And I worked peripherally with others, including Cynthia Dillard and Mallika Siegel.

And that made me remember I had some great pictures of them from my corporate farewell event (thank you, Jessica Sterling). It was the perfect confluence of factors to post a thank-you message on LinkedIn.

Seeing the community of comments and appreciation that sprung out of it was truly gratifying. What a boost for all involved. Suddenly, my day felt brighter, and hopefully others felt the same.

It was the putting into action one of the concepts in the book I published this spring, What Successful People Do in Social Media: A Short Guide to Boosting Your Career.

In my book, I talk about the social media trifecta. What’s that? It’s bucketing your social media content into thirds:

  • The first one is sharing what you’re doing in the work world.
  • The second one is amplifying the great things your team or your colleagues are doing.
  • And the third one is being a brand ambassador for your organization.

In this way, you don’t over index on promoting yourself and potentially turning people off in the process. You build goodwill with your colleagues and your team by highlighting their good works. And where it makes sense you share the good work of your employer.

As spring soon gives way to summer, I reflected on some of the social media posts that made me rejoice in what colleagues and friends are doing ..

My former colleague and inclusion mentor L. Michelle Smith launched the popular The Culture Soup Podcast and embarked on an inspiring series of speaking events.

My friend Corii Berg boldly stepped into the president role of the USC Alumni Association Board of Governors, following other inspirational leaders Michael Felix and Jaime Lee.

My former boss Fiona Carter is now leading the #SeeHer movement to bring equality to and eliminate bias in the way women and girls are portrayed in advertising and media.

My friends Tom Henkenius, Austin Maddox, Madeline Lindsay, Allegra Guitierrez, Briana Latter, Stephanie Corrigan, Danielle Harvey Stinson and others celebrated their graduations from USC.

My former colleagues Sarah Groves, John Stancliffe and others continue to inspire me with their social media innovation in the B2B space and beyond.

My students in the social media program at the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising are all doing amazing things as they get ready to graduate in June.

My friend Tina Quinn published a fabulous book this spring called Invisible Things. Tina coached me through some difficult times a few years ago and she inspires me every day.

My former colleague TeNita Ballard is doing so much to make the world a more inclusive place, especially for veterans and people with disabilities.

My former colleague Charles Miller keeps me and others up to speed with beautiful scenes of New York on his Instagram grid.

And an amazing thing has happened just as I’ve reflected on all of these special people and what they’re doing in the world. I feel uplifted. I feel inspired. I feel happy for them.

And the way for me to share that feeling is by engaging with their social media content, by liking and commenting and sharing their good deeds.

This spring has been difficult in many ways. Yes, it was the thrill of a lifetime to give a TEDx talk and publish a book and help my husband Kevin with the launch of his new restaurant this summer (Pacific Standard Prime in Redondo Beach, for those in So Cal).

But it’s been challenging shepherding my son through his last few months, weeks and days of high school. Like seniors all over the country, he’s beyond ready to move on to the next thing.

In his case, it’s a bit of a different path. He’s been “scrimming” (practicing) with two esports teams in League of Legends. Now when he’s sitting on the couch with his headset on playing a video game, he’s actually doing a job and getting his first paychecks.

Our world is changing so quickly, it can be hard to keep up. But if the happiness I feel right now in thinking about friends and colleagues is any indication, one way for you to find happiness is to look for the good in others and amplify it in social media.

How to Write a Blog Post People Will Love: Part 2

iStock.com/kieferpix

When you’re trying to write a blog post that people will love, sometimes you can’t fit everything into the ideal length of 600 to 800 words. What can you do? Break it into a series of shorter posts.

Part 1 of this topic covered themes, points of view, headlines, opening words, and the ideal length. Here’s part 2 covering creating visual interest, engaging others, weaving in data and research, ending strong, editing your post, and reading other blogs for ideas and inspiration.

Make it visually interesting

Include photos, videos and/or infographics to make your post eye catching. You can also spice up your text by using subheads, bullets, numbered lists and white space. My rule is to keep paragraphs at four lines or less to make them reader friendly.

Use formatting options in platforms like LinkedIn to draw attention to call-out quotes by way of bold italics. You can also sprinkle images and/or videos throughout your post for visual interest.

Engage others

Consider how you can weave others into your post. If you can quote someone or highlight a best practice that they do, this rounds out your post with a variety of perspectives. This provides supporting points for your overall message.

It also potentially increases interest in and engagement with your post. The people you’ve included may be inclined to comment on and share your post. You can also mention them as you promote your post in various social networks, so they’re sure to know you’ve included them.

Bring in the data

Cite interesting facts and research in your post, and link to them. This anchors your post in data and supports your key points.

Influencer Neil Patel, for example, cited research that “marketers who blog consistently will acquire 126% more leads than those who do not.” If that data point doesn’t convince you of the value of blogging, I don’t know what will.

Be sure you’ve read the full link and are comfortable with its contents before linking to it. Why? Because every bit of content you create, like, or link to reflects on you and your professional image.

End strong

Your ending is almost as important as your lead. Here you want to spur your reader into action. What will they do differently as a result of reading your post? How have they accomplished what you talk about in your post? What questions do they have and will they leave a comment?

Career blogger Penelope Trunk had great advice in her online course, Reach Your Goals through Blogging. She advises to “write and write until you find the thing that surprises you.”

Edit, edit, edit

Set your draft aside and come back to it later, whether it’s the next day or the next hour. Read it with fresh eyes. Ask yourself if the piece flows appropriately from one idea to the next.

Look for areas that might need more explanation for your readers. Edit out repeated words (always a challenge for me) and unnecessary phrases. Make sure all the links work properly.

Read blogs

Study what types of blog posts and articles appeal to you. Ask yourself what specifically engages you. I love reading posts from many of my former colleagues in the corporate world – Anne Chow, Mo Katibeh, L. Michelle Smith, John Stancliffe and Jason Dunn, to name a few.

Sometimes it’s the things you don’t want to write, or that seem too personal, are what people love the most. A few recent examples on the more personal side are A Love Letter to the Amazing People I’ve Worked With and my corporate farewell remarks in Are You Doing What You Really Want to Do?

I almost didn’t write my post about 7 Things Not to Do in LinkedIn. At the time, I didn’t think I’d be adding anything new to the existing body of knowledge. But I wrote it because someone left a comment asking for it. And it became one of my most-read pieces.

That’s my moment of surprise. Sometimes the topic that doesn’t seem exciting to you will be of great interest to your network. If you look at the analytics of all your posts, you may find your own surprises to inform your upcoming posts.

What other ways do you write posts that people will love?

Are You Doing What You Really Want to Do?

These beautiful photos of my farewell celebration are by Jessica Sterling

If you’re here, it’s because I really like you.

That’s how I started my remarks at my corporate farewell event exactly one month ago today.

As is my writing practice, I thought about what I wanted to say, who I wanted to thank, and how I hoped people would feel. I gave myself the speechwriting assignment and let my subconscious go to work on it. I find that ideas pop up while I’m doing other things.

Except with everyone else going on, it wasn’t quite done by the time the event arrived. Usually I like to ideate, write, iterate, memorize and then speak without notes. That didn’t happen this time.

This next part is for my colleagues who have told me I always seem prepared and poised. You may get a zing of delight to know that I was still writing my remarks in my Evernote app while my husband Kevin was driving us to the event.

So of course I couldn’t memorize it. And in the spirit of keeping it short, I left out a lot of what I wanted to say. So I’m sharing it here, for my friends and colleagues who were there, and for many others who aren’t in Southern California and couldn’t be there.

______

My daughter was 11 months old when I came to work at DIRECTV as a communications manager.

In my interview, Jeff Torkelson said, “It’s really busy here. Do you think you can handle it?”

Those words haunted me at the end of my first week. Everyone was running around with their hair on fire. No one seemed to leave at the end of the day. It didn’t seem like anyone else had a baby at home. I realized I’d made a big mistake in taking the job.

But I couldn’t quit after a week. So I decided I would commit to a year. After that I would find a new job.

But then I found ways to succeed in the environment, like doing thinking and writing projects in the early mornings. And without my even asking, my male and female bosses offered me the ability to work from home one day a week when I returned to work after my son was born.

So much opportunity grabbed me. And it didn’t let go.

A transitional time like this reminds me of wise words from great leaders.

Eddy Hartenstein, the charismatic pioneer who founded DIRECTV and the father of modern-day satellite television, said upon leaving the company many years earlier that “we are victors, not victims.”

I remember Eddy coming to my office to practice his talk before his farewell event. My colleague Tina Morefield and I listened and tried not to shed tears. I still get chills thinking about it.

Mike White, another legendary leader at DIRECTV, often said that “sometimes you need to replant yourself.” He is a model of ongoing reinvention and lifelong learning. He’s a super-smart English major who became a CEO.

After 30 years in the corporate world (!), it was time for me to replant myself. It felt like being in my 20s again, graduating from UCLA and wondering what to do with the rest of my life. So I began to look back over the years for clues.

When I was 5 years old, I loved to read and write. My uncle gave me what used to be known as a typewriter (younger readers can Google it). I’d type up stories, letters and calendars. Anything, really.

My grandmother and my mother encouraged my writing (along with my parents requiring that I take math and science every year in high school). My dad suggested I study English in college. But I wondered what kind of a career I could have. How would I become financially independent? If only I’d known then about where Mike White’s career journey would lead.

So I studied economics. And I ultimately found corporate communications, at the intersection of business and writing. It fits perfectly with my Strong Interest Inventory profile of artistic, social and enterprising interests.

Julia Cameron who wrote The Artist’s Way might have called it a shadow career. Because I really wanted to be a writer. But I didn’t know how to do it and live the life that I wanted.

That’s probably why I started an internal blog at DIRECTV in 2012 when my team launched a social collaboration website. And I started this blog on New Year’s Day 2015 to explore the future of corporate communications. I had a lot of support and encouragement from my boss at the time, Joe Bosch, our chief human resources officer.

Now writing is the foundation of what I’m doing as an emerging entrepreneur. I’m writing, consulting, speaking and teaching about how professionals can grow their careers and business owners can grow their companies through social media.

With that said, the time with my colleagues in the corporate world was anything but a shadow career.

That’s because of all the incredible things we did together. There were so many challenging projects. But we brought everyone’s talents together, worked as a team and made it happen, again and again. It was fun and rewarding along the way.

At our first-ever dealer conference called Dealer Revolution, I remember dancing the night away in what was then the Texas Stadium after Kerin Lau and her events team made the 2,000-person event happen. We got to meet Rod Stewart before he performed that night. When it came time to take photos, I hoped I wouldn’t be taller than him. I wasn’t disappointed.

The ever-incredible events team

There are KaBOOM! playgrounds in New Orleans, Atlanta and Las Vegas. Children are probably happily playing on them right now, thanks to the work by Tina Morefield, Brooke Hanson, Brynne Dunn Jones, Jamie ZamoraAndy Bailey and so many more.

Anthony Martini joined us when many of the installation and service technician companies were insourced. Out of nothing, he built the corporate communications infrastructure. And working with Carlos Botero, those communications helped create a workforce so engaged that Willis Towers Watson wrote a case study on it.

Launching social collaboration with Michael Ambrozewicz and Thyda Nhek Vanhook and IT colleagues Mike Benson, Frank Palase, Brian Ulm and many others was my first real introduction to social media. It made me want to crawl under my desk and hide until it went away.

But that didn’t happen so I had to conquer my fears and move forward. I launched an internal blog so I could learn and model what it was like to try new things, look silly in the process and learn from everyone in the community.

Creating an employer brand with Michael Ambrozewicz, Linda Simon and Rosanne Setoguchi along with Mark Schumman bordered on the sublime. I remember the electrifying moment when Vanessa Sestina completed the puzzle with our tagline, we entertain the future. 

Then it came time for the corporate campus to be upgraded. It meant new ways of working in open and collaborative space. There was a lot of hand wringing. Fellow members of the Campus Launch Advisory Board will remember. In the end, Paul James and Hilary Hatch did an incredible job and Tyler Jacobson communicated it to perfection, with great counsel from Reza Ahmadi.

When we got the news that AT&T was going to acquire DIRECTV, it was the thrill of a lifetime to be part of the integration team led by Jennifer Cho at DIRECTV and Jeff McElfresh at AT&T. What seemed at first like having a front-row seat to a Harvard Business Review case study was actually like getting an MBA in real time.

Through it all, I was passionate about advancing women at the company through mentoring circles and employee resource groups. What a thrill when Dan York brought the Academy Award-winning actor Geena Davis to speak at the company not once, but three times. She is doing incredible work to bring gender parity to television and film roles. And Phil Goswitz was able to have Gywnne Shotwell, COO of SpaceX, come and speak to our women’s resource group.

Some of my mentoring circle friends

And as a capstone, I got to work with Fiona Carter as she championed gender equality and inclusion in the company’s advertising and media. I’ll always remember the inspiring work to measure and communicate inclusion with Chris Cervenka, Bill Moseley, Eric Ryan, Michelle Smith, Brett Levecchio, Caitlyn Wooldridge and so many more.

I’m beyond proud of the inclusive advertising being produced by Val Vargas, Sarita Rao, Sandra Howard and many others at the company. They are all role models that I hope many others in the industry will follow.

And whenever I didn’t know what to do or needed to brush off criticism, I got the best advice from my husband Kevin. Borrowed from the film Madagascar, he’d always say, “Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.”

There are so many more incredible memories and people (like my most recent team members Stephen Santiago and Sabrina McKnight). It’s been an honor to work with all of you. I learned so much from you. We’ll always be connected by the DIRECTV and AT&T family.

Things came full circle last week when I heard from Tina Quinn, who was my coach over the last year. She recommended Steven Pressfield’s book, The Artist’s Journey.

It picks up where Joseph Campbell and the hero’s journey leave off. Early in my corporate career I read about the hero’s journey. It articulates the timeless sequence of events for nearly every story, novel or film.

“The artist’s journey comes after the hero’s journey,” Pressfield says in his book about the lifelong pursuit of meaning. “Everything that has happened to us up to this point is rehearsal for us to act, now, as our true self and to find and speak in our true voice.”

There is a rich personal history that I draw upon now. It’s in no small part thanks to the people I spent the last few decades working with.

You have each inspired me in your own way. I am profoundly grateful.

So my question to you is, are you doing what you really want to do?Where is your artist’s journey leading you?

Thanks to Jessica Sterling at JessicaSterling.com for these beautiful photos of my farewell celebration

The Secret to Fitting Social Media into Your Professional Life

Why doesn’t everyone have a social media strategy for their career?

There are two main reasons: not seeing the value and not having the time.

The value proposition has a simple answer. Our professional reputation increasingly influences how we get jobs, advance in our careers and navigate transitions.

The time equation is more difficult. We each have 24 hours in days that seem to get busier by the second. How can we make the most of our limited time to build our careers through social media?

Start by thinking about what you’ve done professionally over the last month.

Have you –

  1. Spoken at an event
  2. Attended a conference
  3. Taken a course, online or in person
  4. Traveled for a work meeting or event
  5. Joined a professional or trade group and attended a meeting
  6. Received an award for your work
  7. Completed a key project that can be shared in public
  8. Participated in a company-sponsored charitable event
  9. Seen an engaging video about your company or industry
  10. Found a valuable article about your company or industry
  11. Read a thought-provoking book about business or your industry
  12. Come across an interesting post by a colleague or your company

Why consider these activities?

VaynerMedia CEO Gary Vaynerchuk identified a simple and powerful strategy in his post, “Document, don’t create: creating content that builds your personal brand.”

Documenting is creating content, he says. It’s simply sharing your career journey and what you’re doing every day. And it’s easy to do because you’re “just being yourself.”

To look into the future of this documenting trend, check out the New York Times article Keeping Up, on Camera, Is No Longer Just for the Kardashians.

In everything you do professionally today, start by asking yourself if it can be shared publicly in social media. Make sure to never, ever share non-public and/or competitively sensitive information in social media.

When in doubt, err on the side of caution and don’t share. Even if you think something is okay to share in public, check that official company sources have shared the information publicly, or ask your supervisor for confirmation.

Career blogger Penelope Trunk said it well in her online course Reach Your Goals by Blogging. “Just don’t write anything near where your ‘security clearance’ goes,” she advised. While most people don’t have security clearances, this is an apt analogy to keep confidential information confidential. Don’t share it.

Once you’ve cleared that hurdle, then focus on what you’re doing, what’s interesting about it and why it could be valuable to your network.

What specifically in the course of your day, your week and your month could you share that builds the career brand you want to be known for?

Some of my colleagues do this really well. (This is where I remind readers that opinions expressed in this blog are my own.)

Here are just a few.

TeNita Ballard. TeNita is an enthusiastic champion of diversity and inclusion. She shares the events she attends, the people she meets and what she learns through posts in Instagram, Facebook and more.

John Starkweather. John is a big advocate for business customers. He shared his experience at the company’s recent tech conference The Summit in LinkedIn and Twitter. His posts make you feel like you were there.

Jennifer Van Buskirk. Jennifer leads the east region of the company. She shares leadership lessons she’s learned in her career in LinkedIn, along with the events she attends and speaks at in the course of her work.

Sarah Stoesser Groves. Sarah is a digital marketer who shares news and information her network can use. At The Summit she posted insightful video clips and sound bites from many of the speakers in LinkedIn and Twitter.

L. Michelle Smith. Michelle is a multi-cultural marketer. She’s a great source for the latest research and thought leadership on inclusion marketing through her posts in LinkedIn and Twitter.

Reflecting on the last month, here are some of the professional activities I’ve shared in LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram or Facebook. It only required taking a few photos and videos of the events and sharing key messages in my social networks.

They tended to be squeezed into the nooks and crannies of busy days as well as evenings and sometimes weekends, forming the public side of work-related activities that can be shared in social media.

Attended The Summit in Dallas as a marketing leader and participated on a team of social influencers to amplify the event’s messaging and reach, thanks to Sarah Groves.

Joined the Women’s Sports Foundation‘s annual salute gala in New York, thanks to Fiona Carter who is a member of the group’s board. It was inspiring to see so many strong female role models and spend time with colleagues.

Spoke at #WeGatherLA, the second-annual women’s leadership experience spearheaded by Otter Media President Sarah Harden, thanks to an invitation from Jennifer Cho and Katelynn Duffel. It was an amazing experience interviewing Helie Lee about her project Macho Like Me, when she lived life as a man for six months. Truly incredible!

Talked with visiting students from Howard University and North Carolina A&T University about how to build a career through social media, thanks to Grant Reid, along with John Willis and Kaleb Pask.

Participated in events at USC as a member of the USC Alumni Association Board of Governors and USC Annenberg Alumni Advisory Board, thanks to Leticia Lozoya and Ashley Cooper.

Beyond building your career through social media, there are other benefits to documenting your professional life in social. You’re helping to build the brands of your company and your colleagues.

Employees are a trusted and credible source of information about their companies, according to Shel Holtz. Take that responsibility seriously and be sure you’re communicating in alignment with your company’s values, brand and social media policy.

And as we approach the end of the year and you summarize your key accomplishments, your social media feeds are a powerful input. They document many of your key accomplishments. You can add to quantifying their impact by the reach and the engagement of your posts.

As you head into a new week, what are you doing, experiencing and learning this week that you can share in social media?

How to Get Started with LinkedIn Status Updates

Feeling overwhelmed by studies saying you should post a daily LinkedIn status update?

Start with something more manageable. Spend a few weeks reading and responding to others’ status updates instead.

Take a few minutes each morning or during a lunch break to scroll through the updates in the “home” icon of your LinkedIn mobile app.

Why? Here are 5 reasons.

  • Notice which updates get the most interaction. What updates are getting multiple likes, comments and shares? What is it about the update that is so appealing?
  • Identify what types of updates you’re drawn to. This will help you not only formulate the types of status updates you’d like to share, but it will also guide you on format, tone and length.
  • Take note of cringe-worthy updates. Identify why these updates don’t work. Put them on your list of things-not-to-do in LinkedIn, along with updates that are personal, political or unprofessional.
  • Engage with your network. Tap the “like” button for posts you enjoy. Leave a brief, upbeat comment that congratulates your colleague and adds your point of view. Remember that any content you engage with reflects on you, your personal brand and your employer, so be sure to look before you like.
  • Expand the conversation. If the content aligns with your professional interests, share it with your network along with a brief comment from your point of view. Be sure to look before you link, reading the full update and any links before sharing. And if someone in your network would be interested in the update, mention their name in your comment so they’ll be notified.

Tip: Find your favorites

Over time, develop a list of people in your network who are reliable sources of information and insights.

Several of my AT&T colleagues consistently post valuable updates. Here are a few (along with my note that opinions expressed in this blog are my own) . . .

  • Steve McGaw posts timely updates on the latest technology for business.

Who are the people at your company or in your network who are valuable go-to sources of news, information and inspiration? Check out their updates often to see what you can learn as well as share with your network.

Bonus tip: Create a strategy for the appearance of “Your Activity”

Check out how your likes, comments and shares appear in the mobile version of your LinkedIn profile. Under “Your Activity,” the 3 most recent interactions appear, with the most current one first (on your laptop, the 6 most recent interactions appear). What do you want to display on top?

Think about who you’re meeting with for the first time today. They may pull up your LinkedIn profile before, during or after your conversation. Consider what you want them to see.

You could like, comment on or share content relevant to your meeting topic. You could check out what status updates the person you’re meeting with posted recently. You could like, comment on or share those updates as appropriate.

What’s your strategy for engaging with your network’s status updates?